Advice for formal attire

[Canadian_Kilt]

Greetings again! So I've ordered my kilt, and I'm extremely excited to wear it. However I was speaking with someone just now and they told me something that contradicted what I had planned to wear.

This kilt is for my wedding. I'm wearing it with a pretty standard formal outfit - prince charlie jacket, vest, dress shirt, bowtie, brogues, hose and flashes, and I intended to also wear a fly plaid and brooch.

I understand that the plaid is an extremely formal item - this I know, and as such I expected it is something I probably will very rarely wear, if ever again.

The person with whom I was just speaking (brides mother) thinks that I shouldn't wear it. Traditionally it was worn by the clan chief, a high ranking military officer, or royalty, at extremely formal events. Neither of these titles, obviously, apply to me.

Not that I don't believe this to be true - it may very well be. She's scottish as well and pretty familiar with her heritage. However from my perspective - this is a formal wedding, the wedding dress is extremely formal, as are the maids, the men are all in kilts or tuxes, formal location, meal .. the whole bit. For me, this is the most formal occasion I am likely to be a part of in my life. As a result, I feel I'm justified wearing it. I'm not going to deny that I really love the look of it as well. Traditions are what they are and thats fine. Most people will just think it looks cool and wont know the difference, but there are most likely going to be a couple people at the wedding that will in fact know (or think they know) what the proper use of the plaid is and think that I'm being disrespectful for wearing it (or haven't earned the right to wear it).

So .. first - is that true? Second, does it matter? What is the proper place to wear a plaid *today*?

[MacTavishOfJapan]

A fly plaid, to me (I'm a Scot too), is a very formal thing. However, don't be put off because you don't have the 'rank' to wear it, you're as well qualified as anyone else in my book. Ranks mean nothing.

At the end of the day, it's your wedding. As you say it's a once in a lifetime event and you should dress how you and your future wife want. Do what you feel comfortable with and are happy with.

My cousin wore a fly plaid to his wedding a few years ago, he's neither a chief, royalty or in the military.

Good luck and congrats!

[Norbydog]

You, in a sense, are going to be chief/royalty/leader. Your wife and yourself will be the rulers of your own tribe. Just tell your new mom in law that you need to establish that you are 1/2 of the royalty of her grandchildren from this "alliance".

If that doesn't get her mind off of this little itsy-bitsy detail, nothing will.

[PiobBear]

"So .. first - is that true? Second, does it matter?"

To the best of my knowledge, no, it's not. All sorts of people, including pipers & drummers, wear plaids of varying descriptions; there's even an Irish plaid called a brat. The only restraints I know of are the display of heraldic arms to which you're not entitled, and the wearing of eagle feathers in your bonnet (these aren't just traditional conventions, but actually Scottish law).

"What is the proper place to wear a plaid *today*?"

The Prince Charlie is formal attire; so's the fly plaid. If you attend a formal event (St. Andrew's Dinner, Burns Night, regimental mess/mess night/dining in), or an event where the invitation specifies "black tie" or "formal wear", you can wear your plaid, pinned to your left shoulder beneath the epaulette, upper edge of the brooch even with the top of your shoulder and emblem displayed on an even keel; not cock-eyed. The plaid should fall to about 8" or so of the floor behind you.

Dealing with mother-in-laws, now that's another kettle of fish entirely...

[David Dalglish]

I am not a lover of fly plaids, but if you feel a need to wear it , then do so, its not reserved for anyone

[GatorUK]

No it is not true. Highland dress as we know it today owes much to the military. Initially, the army very much followed the civilian dress of the day and adapted it to military purposes, but after the Proscription, the opposite became the case and civilian dress followed that of the military. Such characteristic features as the shoulder straps on today’s jackets and the buttons on the sleeve are of military origin. The cuts of various forms of evening jacket can also be traced back to the late 1700s. The plaid became a separate garment and survives in military uniform today in two forms, the fly plaid, a vestigial piece of tartan draped from the left shoulder, usually worn by drummers, and the full shoulder plaid worn by pipers and bandsmen. The plaid is still carried as a length of tartan over the shoulder in civilian dress.
Wear the plaid!

[Canadian_Kilt]

Thanks all - good to know. I wanted to make sure I was not totally in the wrong by wearing it.

I do enjoy the look of the fly plaid, although only for very specific occasions. I'm not sure I can even think of a time I would wear it again. Black tie events dont come my way very often. In fact I even think the PC is pretty extreme for most events - which is why I'm just renting it. I'm planning to buy an Argyll jacket and maybe a waistcoat for future wear to standard formal occasions.

[Caradoc]

The person with whom I was just speaking (brides mother) thinks that I shouldn't wear it.

(snip)

So .. first - is that true? Second, does it matter? What is the proper place to wear a plaid *today*?

It does matter - if the bride thinks it does. And since this is her mother's opinion, you should talk to the bride about it.

There is one person in the wedding with whom you should not argue - your future wife. "Discussing" is OK. "Arguing" is not.

Trust me on this one.

[KiltedKnight]

I understand that the plaid is an extremely formal item - this I know, and as such I expected it is something I probably will very rarely wear, if ever again.

Eh? I married my bride 18 years ago and we're still on our honeymoon. We make it a point to eat out at least twice a month and sometimes twice a week. At least one of these dinners is at a fancy restaurant and we dress, if for no other reason, just for the fun of it. I wear the flyplaid with my PC. I have never been asked about it and it is of course no one elses business where we've been or where we're going after dinner but it's easy to see from the looks on the other folks faces that they are very envious at the idea that we've gone or are going somewhere besides the dinner but again, it's nobody's business but our own.

Find reasons to wear your flyplaid or just make them up, life is short. I hope that you are still on your honeymoon in 18 years and if you aren't, well maybe you didn't dress and go out to dinner enough, maybe you didn't wear your flyplaid enough.

Chris.

[Canadian_Kilt]

I guess this never really occured to me. We do make a point of 'date nights' regularly, although the funds prevent it from being fancy too often.

That's a great idea Knight. I'm glad to see that it may have more use than I thought!