The Evils of Alcohol...

[Fearnest]

A minister was completing a Temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The music leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

See you at the river.

[Kilted KT]

I'll be at the head of the scotch river...to get the good stuff before it mixes with the beer and wine..

[Nick]

He poured the beer in first, obviously no experience with alchohol! Beer before liquor, never been sicker!

[auld argonian]

The preacher got up to the lectern at the downtown mission and looked out upon all of the poor, downtrodden souls before him and porceeded to give them a sermon.

He said, "Brothers and sisters...I am here today to show you...to give you tangible proof...of the effects that demon rum can have on your bodies."

With that, he took out two glasses full of clear liquid and placed them on the podium. He the reached into his pocket and took out a worm.

"My friends...consider the following...I put the worm in the first glass which contains pure, clean water."

He drops the worm in and it swims around for a while. He reaches in and takes it out.

"And now, my friends, watch what happens when I put the worm in the second glass which contains Gin."

He drops the worm in and it instantly disintegrates.

He surveys the assembled multitude and says, "Now...what does this show you?"

There's a moment of thoughtful silence. Then a small, raspy voice comes from the back of the hall:

"If you drink Gin, you won't get worms."

Best

AA

[beowulf67]

Down with parasites!! Up with GIN!!!

[Big Dave]

Funny stuff.

[Fearnest]

GIN... (shudders)

Bad memory of a fifth of gin and a final toast to Gomer Pyle.

[KiltedKnight]

I can honestly say that I have gotten rid of many a beer, bottle of wine and some very good whiskey in rivers like the Thames in England, the Seine in France, The Mein, Rhein and Neckar rivers in Germany, the Columbia, Platte, Colorado and Mississippi to mention just a few here in the states but I have to confess that I filtered all of it through my kidneys beforehand.

Chris.

[Graham]

Good joke, I'll add that to my collection!

[Warlock]

GIN... (shudders)

Bad memory of a fifth of gin and a final toast to Gomer Pyle.

Sounds like an interesting story!