Hats

[Kid Cossack]

Gents, ladies, lads, lassies, rabble and rabblettes:

There was/is a thread about hats, with particularity, the Glengarry and what level of dress should be appropriate when wearing one. This thread is not about that.

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...ad.php?t=26145

I wanted to comment, but it was in answer to a deviating thread (almost as bad as a dangling participle, I suppose), and Mike1 had already indicated that he looked with favor on posts which were on-topic.

Hats and I

I like hats. Not all of them, mind you, but enough of them that I can feel safe in saying I like them. I do, of course, have certain prejudices and preferences when it comes to hats. I like hats which are either pretty or utilitarian and preferably both.

What do I like in hats, in terms of utility. Although many of the men in my family are cueballs, I'm not. My sister maintains a grudge against me TO THIS DAY because I have thick hair, thick curly eyelashes and bushy eyebrows. (The eyebrows are not quite Brezhnevian, but threaten to grow more so with the passage of time.) So I don't really need a hat to prevent scalp-burn.

I do need/desire/want/seek a hat that will shade my eyes, and work as a sweatband. Baseball/gimme caps are the cheapest and most common solution, but I simply can't stand them. My head size and shape simply make me look silly in a baseball cap. I did like the utility cover I wore in the Corps, but it was larger at the top than on the sides and it was cloth and had a goodly brim.

I think ideally I'd like a driving/Irish cap with a longer brim, but my hat preferences are only incidental to this post. I mostly wanted to talk about hat courtesy, as understood by me.

A gentleman (of however low or high a birth) does not wear his hat indoors, unless under arms. "Under arms" being a term of art to include "having the duty" or participating in a color guard, or otherwise acting in an official capacity.

The coach of the Houston Oilers in days gone by was named Bum Phillips. He would always be seen in his cowboy hat, except indoors. He would not wear his hat inside the Astrodome: that was indoors enough for him.

A gentleman doffs, or at least tips, his hat to a lady. It is presumed that all female human beings are ladies. A gentleman need not doff nor tip his hat to a man. I am enough of an egalitarian that I have never cared much for caste systems, and the old image of the man 'umbly addressing his betters with cap clutched in hands, held before him, never did much for my temper.

One of the most disturbing events in my life involved this issue. I was driving out to South Carolina to Parris Island to retrieve the lady who was, at that time, my wife, and stopped to ask for directions in Alabama. I asked an older black gentleman, pulled up next to him and said, "Excuse me, sir, I've gotten turned around, might I trouble you for directions back to the highway?" This gentleman took his hat off before he spoke to me, and held it in his hands before him. I was, almost literally, in shock, and remember it to this day, some fifteen years later.

I do not pretend that these are iron, universal laws. They are the way I was taught things should be, and they are the way I comport myself in regard to headgear. I do not expect people from other cultures to know and understand these mores. I would not, for instance, expect a Sikh to remove his turban indoors.

I am a product of my time and place. I was born and bred in Texas, born in the late 1960s to a family of mixed-breed Celts from small Texas towns by way of Tennessee. My opinions are different from my father's, as his were different from his father's---same blood, same places, just different times.

I do not regard doffing or tipping of the hat to indicate submission, merely respect. I call male humans "sir" and female humans "ma'am" until I know them well enough to be informal, and address them as "Mr. (or Mrs.) Smith" until I am comfortable enough with them to refer to them by their given or Christian name. That, for me, is neither submission nor subservience, but simply good manners.

Off topic as all get out, but the thread linked above got me to thinking, and you know how dangerous that can be!

[caig]

You are absolutely spot-on. It is simple courtesy and good manners to remove your hat, or to touch it with your forefingrer and thumb, when greeting a lady ( that is a female !). My Clan Chief does this routinely,and it is refreshing to see a true Gentleman acting apporpriately. Sadly, modern man, with baseball caps and the like, seem to have lost this habit. I find that regrettable.

[Gaisgeil]

You're a shade senior to me in terms of age and I'm also a Yankee but I was raised similarly along those lines only to different degrees. I remember by Grandfather teaching me that a man who wants to show himself as a gentleman and court the respect that entails always removes his cover when in most indoor settings. There are some exceptions, such as particularly large buildings, such as the Astrodome, lol, Grampa probably wouldn't have taken his hat off either I don't think. Also I always understood official capacity a little looser than you've outlined. I'm a member of a pipe band and it's usually customary to keep headgear on while playing indoors. I was also taught about hat tipping and what have you but honestly women my age give me a real hard time about it and it actually almost seems to offend in some way and since tipping your hat is supposed to avoid that, in my case it seems pretty much counterproductive. I was also taught to rise at a table when a lady enters the room, I can't help myself from doing that one and I get laughed at for that one too.

It seems like even that level of formality or manners most people find quaint and outdated which is sad to me because it always struck me as just a nice way to be, a respectful way to be. Many think it's oppressive in some way and I can see how one might take it that way but if you understand what it's SUPPOSED to communicate how could it be oppressive to show your respect for someone?

I've found people in the south still stick with these social codes but it's even dying down there. Up north is a totally different story, I feel like a social outcast for even thinking about wanting to mind my more traditional manners.

[Arlen]

Absolutely agree with you here.
I have terribly thin hair and, though the cold doesn't bother me at all, I wear a beanie hat outdoors in winter to prevent headaches. And, in summer with heat which really does bother me, I wear a cowboy hat to keep me cool and shaded. (Even though I don't look well in it.)

Since I was a teenager I've had friends make fun of me for doffing my hat and coat indoors when they always kept their baseball caps on and for taking my hat off to speak to anyone outdoors that I'm not terribly familiar with.
It's just, to put it simply, polite. And I think there needs to be more of that these days.

Good on you.

[Caradoc]

I feel like a social outcast for even thinking about wanting to mind my more traditional manners.

I've felt that, too.

And heaven forbid anyone should actually clean up after themselves in a public restroom...

[Gaisgeil]

And heaven forbid anyone should actually clean up after themselves in a public restroom...

Not to hijack but I totally agree and don't even get me started on people who think it's okay to litter. I was behind a gentlemen today at a stop light that casually emptied his vehicle of three to-go coffee cups and a paper bag full of something right on the roadside grass. My jaw just dropped. My girlfriend actually was pretty angry (we lean toward being environmentalists) and she asked me to swing around so she could pick it up.

[Dreadbelly]

The only hat I really don't remove indoors are my dreadlock tams. For one thing, it is troublesome to stuff all those locks back in there. For a second thing, I have learned that people tend to FREAK OUT when I (or any dready headed goon for that matter) yanks their tam off and the explosion of dreadlocks happen. Dreadlocks fresh out of the tam are like a dog fresh out of a locked room. Happy to be out. They stick out everywhere in all directions. This seems to unnerve people, so I tend to leave it on for their sake. This is very weird for me, as I am used to removing my hat indoors.

I own a few baseball type hats, never worn them much, can't wear them at all now with my fat ropey locks. I do however, still wear hats like these.

I also say Sir or Ma'am (or try to) and also try to open doors for ladies. Even if I get lectured for it.

[Gaisgeil]

I also say Sir or Ma'am (or try to) and also try to open doors for ladies. Even if I get lectured for it.

Not that I'm going to stop but I held the door open for this young woman a couple months back and she actually refused it and added "I can open it for myself." That sort of misses the point, but whatever. I guess you just can't win.

[Caradoc]

Not to hijack but I totally agree and don't even get me started on people who think it's okay to litter. I was behind a gentlemen today at a stop light that casually emptied his vehicle of three to-go coffee cups and a paper bag full of something right on the roadside grass. My jaw just dropped. My girlfriend actually was pretty angry (we lean toward being environmentalists) and she asked me to swing around so she could pick it up.

My personal peeves...

1) People who toss their cigarette butts (or even ash) out the window.

The world is not your ashtray. Use the one thoughtfully provided by the automotive manufacturer (as I recall, some charge extra for the cigarette lighter - but the ashtray is typically included.)

2) People who don't pick up after their pets.

I don't want to step in the mess your dog leaves on the sidewalk. Pick it up. Toss it in an acceptable receptacle. Or I may be tempted to pull one of my own bags out (I keep 3-4 of the "mitt bags" in my wallet most of the time because they're small enough to do so) and fling the poo at your back as you stroll away.

3) Apply #2 to people with small children... 'Nuff said.

[Dreadbelly]

My personal peeves...

1) People who toss their cigarette butts (or even ash) out the window.

The world is not your ashtray. Use the one thoughtfully provided by the automotive manufacturer (as I recall, some charge extra for the cigarette lighter - but the ashtray is typically included.)

2) People who don't pick up after their pets.

I don't want to step in the mess your dog leaves on the sidewalk. Pick it up. Toss it in an acceptable receptacle. Or I may be tempted to pull one of my own bags out (I keep 3-4 of the "mitt bags" in my wallet most of the time because they're small enough to do so) and fling the poo at your back as you stroll away.

3) Apply #2 to people with small children... 'Nuff said.

I pick up after my dog. Always do. Even when people laugh at me for doing so. I have also made sure my wife follows this behaviour...

I am also somewhat known for walking around downtown and picking up litter. I mean, there are trashcans downtown about every 10 feet or so. And people still litter. That gets me hotheaded. Rather than sit around and bitch about it, I try to pick stuff up. Now my wife does do. I also say things to people to shame them for littering. I'll tell them how lazy they are, point to the nearest trash can, which always seems to be just a few feet away, and lecture them for littering in my front yard. You can almost always spot the downtownies from the visitors. The downtownies use the cigarette disposal units and throw stuff in the trash. The visitors toss butts everywhere and leave a mess of things. Gets on my last nerve it does. The latest problem seems to be with the trolleys... People get on there and have a good time... Eating and drinking or whatever, and they toss entire bags of wrappers and cups out of the open sides of the trolleys and in to the streets. And the damn teenagers have taken to playing this game where they flick butts at the people on the sidewalks and see if they can hit them as the trolley goes by.