My mixed blood pays off!

[Dreadbelly]

I just found out this morning that I am the rightful King of Scotland.

All those affairs on the wrong sides of the sheets have paid off big... For me.

As it was explained to me, he bottom of the family tree starts with Dreadbelly; that is me. I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother of the uncle's daughter's father of the nephew's sister's mother and my grandpa's only cousin was the King's daughter's sibling, but they're all gone.

So that is why, I am now your king!

As my first act, I declare independance from England, but I insist on friendly relations. Also, let go of Ireland. Hands off, or else, I will pay 100,000 men to play the bagpipes endlessly in London.

Every man, woman, and child in Scotland is entitled to share the wealth of Scotland. As such, every man and woman is entitled to exactly 2 free pints of good beer a day from any local pub or tavern. Bills sent to the crown of course, we're paying. On Sundays, a wee dram of fine single malt is the reward for the population and all their hard work. The details of all of this will be looked after by my new Prime Minister of Getting Soused, Pour 1 Malt. (He will be informed of his new position shortly)

The bad news is, all these changes will not be with out some sacrifices. Pants, breeks, troosers, and the like will now be heavily taxed to subsidise various public works projects. I am sure many of you will understand, and for those complaining bitterly, to bad. I'm king. Take it up with Mike, our new head of complaints department. (He can finally retire comfortably from being a forum admin) I am sure he will love to listen to you nattering on about free speech and whatever rights you think you have.

To Todd, I grand the title of Royal Historian. I expect our history books cleansed of 'outside' influence and restored to the truth. Get to crackin, you have a lot of work to do mister.

[Warlock]

Oh great! Now I've gotta find you a crown! All right, I'll start to work on it immediately. I want to be made a General in the new Scottish Army! Maybe even Feild-Marshall. I would of asked for Air-Marshall, but I figured that would go to C152T. {he can teach me to fly though when he gets his new Office!}

[Dreadbelly]

Somebody needs to work on the royal vault... Court Locksmith?

[Warlock]

Never going to get a uniform am I? I guess I'll just have to alter my ROTC uniform jacket,Brush off my ribbons and wear it. HmMMM... I think Fraser red with that would be nice. All my extra money making ventures have fallen through lately.

[elitekiltedcommando]

I suppose for the small fee of a dandy kilt, I'll move to Scotleand and be the jester...

[The Supreme Canuck]

Pants, breeks, troosers, and the like will now be heavily taxed to subsidise various public works projects.

But what about trews, highness? What about trews?!?

[pipesndrumsnun]

All hail the King!
I like your style of rule! Do you need a chaplain, or perhaps a Minister of Education?

[pipesndrumsnun]

...or perhaps a drumming nun (everybody needs one of those, right?!)?

[ccga3359]

I thought your blood was heavily mixed with Woodchuck and lime, how does that make you King? I do see you sitting on a throne though. Canned haggis and all. I am 1,458,302nd in line for the throne of England, can you arrainge some accidents?

[Dreadbelly]

But what about trews, highness? What about trews?!?

Trews are made of tartan. Therefore, exempt. Must keep the tartan mills in business. In Scotland of course. No south of the border stuff!