Girlfriend Problems

[solstice]

So, a few months before I bought my kilt I brought it up with my girlfriend, testing the waters, she told me that she liked the idea of me in a kilt and thought it would look sexy on me. I bought the kilt and while I absolutely loving wearing it around, she seemed a little put off, granted we live in a rather conservative closed minded area. I've worn it out and about while the two of us run around and I've gotten the usual stares from people but we met up with a friend of hers recently and she would not stop calling it a skirt and making woman/crossdresser jokes. I've gotten used to having the kilt referred to as a skirt by the local bumpkins, it doesn't really bother me.
Last night we were talking on the phone and she decided to come out and say that she hates the kilt and wishes I wouldn't wear it, or if I insisted on wearing it that I reserve it for special occasions (it's a black casual AK). I was at a loss for words at that considering our last conversation about me being kilted. I'm not too terribly sure how to address the situation, she's contradicted herself and I'm left confused.
Has anyone else dealt with a problem like this? What do ya think I should do?

[Panache]

solstice,

You mentioned that she originally thought you would look sexy in a kilt. You purchased a modern Amerikilt. Is it possible that what she had in mind was very different than what you had in mind. In the "Show Us Your Pictures" forum there are three threads showing X Markers in Formal, Dressy, and Casual outfits. Why don't you show her these and see if there is a kilt look she likes. Maybe she would encourage you to go for a more traditional look.

Just a thought

Good Luck

Jamie

[RK-REX]

Along the same lines as Panache.

I've noticed that Lynn prefers the more rough & rugged (her words not mine) look of just a long sleeve T and boots with my socks worn low with my USAK casual MacQueen. I wonder if the solid color is turning her off to it? Forgive me for saying it, but if you see tartan, you think kilt, you see solid color, you think skirt... I've asked Lynn about solids and she said she likes the tartans much better. I wonder if this is part of your GF's issue?

[Kirkwood]

It could be that she was expecting a tartan kilt. It could be that she wasn't expecting you to actually wear a kilt in public. But what I'd put money on is that her friend's comments changed her mind.

[Dreadbelly]

Come right out and say it... If she loves you, she loves you for who you are and accepts you as a human being, no matter how you might look you are the same person inside. If she is to shallow to see that, perhaps she should look for somebody that shares her view...

Or you could just buy her flowers and chocolates and just pretend to ignore the situation developing here.

[mcvarmit]

i've noticed that women do have a tendency to change their minds,

hang in there, she will change her mind again.

slick

[Warhoover]

I agree with what was stated earlier, many are only aquainted with a tartan kilt and are not familiar with the modern styles of kilts that are out there now. This is one of those situations where you need to sit down and gently talk to her about it. It may take a little coaxing to get her to reveal the present turn around in her opinion. One thing to concider is did you get any admiring looks from other females when you were out with her with your tank on? That may be the problem. My wife was a little "over protective" when I first started wearing kilts when we would go out. I had to tell her that I wear my kilts because I like them and that she liked them. I got her in the mindset that the admiring glances I was getting was a way of showing her that they were jealious that I was with HER. Make her feel like she is the "big momma bear" as it were. Since then I have gotten her a tshirt that says" If you want to know what is under his kilt , ASK ME!" It really changed her attitude. Now she walks around with me like , Yes he is mine, back off!

Good luck, remember COMMUNICATE!!! Few really do these days!

[Mumbles]

Come right out and say it... If she loves you, she loves you for who you are and accepts you as a human being, no matter how you might look you are the same person inside. If she is to shallow to see that, perhaps she should look for somebody that shares her view...

Or you could just buy her flowers and chocolates and just pretend to ignore the situation developing here.

I think Dreadbelly said it best. But you probably should just talk to her and get a little more information on why she thinks the way she does. As said earlier, maybe she was expecting something a little different. Good luck! I hope that things work themselves out.

[solstice]

solstice,

You mentioned that she originally thought you would look sexy in a kilt. You purchased a modern Amerikilt. Is it possible that what she had in mind was very different than what you had in mind. In the "Show Us Your Pictures" forum there are three threads showing X Markers in Formal, Dressy, and Casual outfits. Why don't you show her these and see if there is a kilt look she likes. Maybe she would encourage you to go for a more traditional look.

Just a thought

Good Luck

Jamie

I just may do that... Perhaps let her pick out the tartan for the next one...

Come right out and say it... If she loves you, she loves you for who you are and accepts you as a human being, no matter how you might look you are the same person inside. If she is to shallow to see that, perhaps she should look for somebody that shares her view...

Or you could just buy her flowers and chocolates and just pretend to ignore the situation developing here.

That's essentially what I told her on the phone last night, "if you love me you'll accept me for the man I am inside, not what I wear." She didn't have much to say to that so I hope that means she saw I had a point.

I agree with what was stated earlier, many are only aquainted with a tartan kilt and are not familiar with the modern styles of kilts that are out there now. This is one of those situations where you need to sit down and gently talk to her about it. It may take a little coaxing to get her to reveal the present turn around in her opinion. One thing to concider is did you get any admiring looks from other females when you were out with her with your tank on? That may be the problem. My wife was a little "over protective" when I first started wearing kilts when we would go out. I had to tell her that I wear my kilts because I like them and that she liked them. I got her in the mindset that the admiring glances I was getting was a way of showing her that they were jealious that I was with HER. Make her feel like she is the "big momma bear" as it were. Since then I have gotten her a tshirt that says" If you want to know what is under his kilt , ASK ME!" It really changed her attitude. Now she walks around with me like , Yes he is mine, back off!

Good luck, remember COMMUNICATE!!! Few really do these days!

I really don't pay attention to other women when they look at me (no really, it's true), so if any did look she would have been the one to notice and that may be the case.

[furrycelt]

i agree with all that has been said so far. it is possible that she expected something else. and Dreadbelly has made a good point. if this breaks the relationship, then perhaps it was doomed from the start.

my wife went thru a "period of adjustment". she liked me in kilts, and always has, but she didn't like the attention that both of us got in public. and when i announced that i would wear kilts full-time when ever possible, she said no and that i wasn't taking her feelings of embarrassment into account.

being the stubborn scot that i am, i didn't give up. she realized that venturing into public is not nearly as traumatizing as she thought it would be; and i think she secretly enjoys other women telling her how sexy kilts are. and the kilt is an "a--h--e detector" which is beneficial as well for both of us.


as with any relationship, the best thing to do is COMMUNICATE. keep the dialog open.