Short men in kilts

[oldfool]

As you short guys know there are problems sitting down in a kilt and never mind the pleats as they are a miner aggravation that is easily overcome. Men come in many different heights from very short to very tall. Regardless of height or weight a mans “stuff” (you know those things that so shock the world if they are seen) are all approximately the same size. There are exceptions as can be seen by watching porn but by and large all men are about the same.
Not so with waist to knee cap distance. A man that has a 24 inch drop has a 5 inch advantage over a man with a 19 inch drop(me). The kilt gets shorter in back as he sits down and if he has any butt at all it gets way shorter. For a man of my girth (42 inches) and a butt it gets shorter than your “stuff”. Hot vinyl car seats can be painful. Don't sit on a glass coffee table while someone is under it. You'll scare them. Concrete bleachers are out especially in winter. Anything with splinters is out. Don't even consider outdoor furniture with an open weave especially the plastic kind that not only gets hot but loose things can get caught in. You could end up with a chair hanging out of your kilt. Don't sit on a log with rough bark. Your really don't want to sit on anyone's lap unless you know them well or want too. For those with long belly button to knee cap length this is not a problem. They have other problems to be sure but it usually involves their head.

Even at my age I am still aware of my “stuff” at all times so I would really rather stand thank you.

Believe it or not riding a bicycle is OK and is actually more comfortable than shorts.

[Rex_Tremende]

Don't sit on a glass coffee table while someone is under it. You'll scare them.

Well, this seems ill-advised no matter what one has on.

[Nick the DSM]

sweep and tuck.

[Livingston]

I am sooooo glad that this new notebook comes with the lastest protection system, the SpewGuard.

[Daibhidh O'Baoighill]

Hot vinyl car seats can be painful. Don't sit on a glass coffee table while someone is under it. You'll scare them. Concrete bleachers are out especially in winter. Anything with splinters is out. Don't even consider outdoor furniture with an open weave especially the plastic kind that not only gets hot but loose things can get caught in. You could end up with a chair hanging out of your kilt. Don't sit on a log with rough bark. Your really don't want to sit on anyone's lap unless you know them well or want too.

Thanks for the laugh...especially the lawn chair bit!!!

[Carolina Kiltman]

Thanks for the laugh...especially the lawn chair bit!!!

I agree, I could add some, but for a more practical bit, a slightly lengthened shirt-tail can (and does) help. Also the proper technique (sweep and tuck) must be practised to become second nature. Now you know how many women felt with mini-skirts when they first came out!

[oldfool]

I agree, I could add some, but for a more practical bit, a slightly lengthened shirt-tail can (and does) help. Also the proper technique (sweep and tuck) must be practised to become second nature. Now you know how many women felt with mini-skirts when they first came out!

I am quite good at "sweep and tuck" but you won't make the kilt even a fraction of an inch longer. I need pleats on a roller shade to make them longer when I sit. The long shirt tail would work but would really look tacky hanging down the back of my leg when standing.

I wrote this for humor but it is all true. It is not a reason to not wear the kilt and I am really glad you folks have a funny bone that can be tickled.

The answer of course is obvious. The kilt has to be about 22 inches no matter where it falls on your knee. That of course looks like crap so I for one will just be standing over here in my top of the knee Kilt.

[kilted_ninja]

Would a different pleat on the kilt help at all? Like that double box pleat or something?

[TheKiltedCoder]

I feel your pain, brother!! I'm not quite as bad off as you (all of my kilts are 21.5-22"), but I've noticed pretty much all of the symptoms/problems you've described.

Which is also a little problematic, as it seems that most off-the-rack kilts that I've researched come in around 24" (SWK is a case in point). Which means that all of my SWK's have a 3" blind hem in them. It's not very visible, but it affects the swing.

I guess we just need to start something analogous to the "Big And Tall" stores, but something that will cater to us short'n'stout fellows.

[GreenDragon]

i'm a firm believer in never sitting on someone's lap, at all, ever.