Don't !. I have one, i ordered one, I use it for a table decoration (tablecloth) when i did a meal of "vegetarian haggis" for work! on the Bard's Birthday!
on the one hand
I am a [B]perfectly ordinary[/B] human being
on the other
I am a [B]kilt-wearing karaoke king[/B]
with a passion for kiwis