Bizzare accident

[CDNSushi]

Looks like I'm not going to work today. Usually calling in sick is a fairly mundane thing. Colds, the flu, the trots, etc... Well, my excuse is much more on the strange side... I'm the keyboard player in a band and we had a rehearsal last night. When I got there, everything had already been set up. Sloppily. So just as I was starting to set up, the keyboard stand collapsed and sent an extremely heavy digital piano crashing down to the floor. Luckily my foot was there to break its fall. Ouch!!!

So, today -- calling in to tell my work I wouldn't be coming in because a piano fell on my foot was one of the more "interesting" sick calls I've made to-date. When the clinic opens, I'm going to get it looked at and x-rayed to make sure nothing's broken. Until then I'm going to sit here and listen to some music by Jean-Baptiste Lully. I'm not sure if that's considered morbid or just appropriate.

(For those who don't know who Lully is, he was a 17th century composer and conductor. He used to conduct by banging a long, wooden staff on the floor to keep the rhythm - until one day he accidentally brought the staff down on his foot, developed an abscess, it turned gangrenous and he died).

So, for the sake of discussion -- and since I'm stuck at home all day, please regale me with your own tales of the strangest "not coming into work today" excuse you've ever phoned in (or your co-worker phoned in, or heck, even "a friend of a friend"). I don't care -- I just want to read some good stories!

[The Wizard of BC]

When I decided to become a full time Kiltmaker I called in well to my boss.

I said....

Well, I'm not coming in.

[Mr. Kilt]

I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

[Mark Keeney]

What kind of piano?

Would it be as heavy as my O1W/proX workstation?

[Carolina Kiltman]

There was a time (back before cell phones) when I was third in line at a red light. The light turned, the first car made it through the intersection, the second got T-boned by a red-light runner, I stopped, the car behind me stopped, the car behind him didn't, as also the three behind him. From the other directions a similar situation, until a total of seven cars were smashed, and immoblised.

Mine was the only car in the midst of this mess that didn't have a scratch, but couldn't move as I was surrounded by bent up cars. By the time the ambulances (three in all) and the police and the wreckers got things cleared up so I could finally move, it was too late to continue, so I went home. I called in and reported that I had been in an accident, and couldn't make it.

[Kilted Surveyor]

I call in thit a case of Anal Glaucoma-I just can't see bringing my a$$ to work.

[mbhandy]

Here in Utah the Beer is 3-2 beer and the the common excuse in this resort town is the 3-2 flu. Welcome to Park City, Ut.

MrBill

[Haegl]

My favorite is "The voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my guns"

[auld argonian]

The classic:

"I'm not coming in because I'm sick."

"Sick with what?"

"I'm sick of putting up with you people!"

Best

AA

[Livingston]

Many years ago as a shift supervisor at a major soybean prosessing plant in Des Moines, I had to call in someone to split a shift when one of our operators called in. His excuse to not come in 4 hrs early was that it would interupt his rythmatic sleeping.