In line at costco

**Livingston** · 16th July 09, 06:57 AM

This cracks me up!!!
Watch What You Say in the Check-Out Line

A TRIP TO Costco

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow or my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

**Jock Scot** · 16th July 09, 07:02 AM

Mr. Livingston don't do this to me! Ooooo, ouch, eeeeee, ahhh, owwwwwww!!!

**JolyStNicholas** · 16th July 09, 07:02 AM

Now that's funny!

**Paul** · 16th July 09, 07:07 AM

haha. That's hilarious
I'm not gullable luckily but I ask a lot of obvious questions without thinking!

**ChubRock** · 16th July 09, 07:12 AM

Made my day! "Here's your sign."

**Galician** · 16th July 09, 07:25 AM

**Tony Miles** · 16th July 09, 07:49 AM

OMG!!!! I just spewed coffee out of my nose

**jgcunningham** · 16th July 09, 07:50 AM

Sometimes I will tell people that I had a frightening dream about being bitten by a wild dog. Then when I woke up, there was a sore spot on my arm where the dog bit me in my dream. When they touch my arm, I start barking at them very loudly and scare the bejesus out of them.