Setting up false expectations

[M. A. C. Newsome]

Recently in another thread where I was "showing off" some new accessories, someone commented that they wish they had my budget.

This made me chuckle a bit, because in actuality I have a very modest income, and a lot of expenses to cover before my Highland dress wardrobe.

But it got me thinking, I wonder if the tone and content of a lot of the threads here (I'm talking in general, not specifically my own) doesn't establish some false expectations to those who might be browsing the forum, just getting into the kilt-wearing foray.

Are we giving the impression to people that the kilt wearer should have a dozen kilts, a closet full of jackets for all occasions, custom hose to match each kilt, and a plethora of sporrans from which to choose?

Looking at myself, in particular, I realize that there are a few things that should be pointed out.

1) a lot of times I post pictures not just to show off a new "toy" I have acquired, but to showcase some of the products we offer through the museum gift shop. For example, look at this picture:

The only things I'm wearing in this photo that I actually own are the tie, shoes, and shirt. Everything else I am just modelling and came out of our gift shop's stock.

2) many times, in order to justify acquiring a new kilt, sporran, jacket, etc., I will sell one I already have. If one were to look through my photo album, or just search through old pictures I have posted, one could easily get the impression that my wardrobe is more extensive than it is. For example, look at this picture:

I no longer own the kilt or sporran I'm pictured wearing, and haven't in some time.

3) I have been wearing the kilt since I was about 15 years old. What I have in my Highland wardrobe has been collected over a number of years. I didn't just go out and buy it all from the get go. It's taken me quite some time to accumulate what I do have.

4) I work in the trade. I am able to purchase things below normal retail cost. This, obviously, makes it easier for me to acquire new goodies. When I was growing up, my father worked for a while part-time selling jewelry. He was able to buy things at a pretty substantial employee discount. My mother acquired most the jewelry she has now during that time. If it wasn't for my father's discount, she wouldn't have near what she does. Same thing with my Highland wardrobe.

5) I make kilts. This not only means that I can make myself a kilt for a lot less financial cost than it would be to buy one, but it also means that I have a skill I can barter in trade for other items. Some of the nicest items in my wardrobe have been traded for, not purchased. I have managed to acquire many things I could never have afforded to pay normal retail value for. Again, go back and reference No. 3. I've also been collecting my wardrobe for years.

6) I wear the kilt as my normal workday clothing. There are some on this forum who wear the kilt every day, at home or at work! When you wear the kilt on a daily basis, it is understandable that you might have eight kilts and fourteen pairs of hose, and six different sporrans.

Now, let's say you are just starting out with kilt wearing, and you only plan on wearing your kilt to certain special occasions. What should your expectations be? Should you look at those of us on this forum who have kilts in the double-digits and who buy a new sporran every month as the standard to aim for? Not at all. It is perfectly reasonable for you to invest in just one kilt, a couple of pairs of hose, a good sporran, and let that be that. Maybe later you could expand your wardrobe to include a nice jacket, and maybe two sporrans, one for daywear and one for eveningwear. And if you only wear the kilt for special occasions, such a wardrobe will probably do you just fine for many years.

If you find you enjoy wearing the kilt and want to wear it more often, then over time your wardrobe will naturally expand a bit. Keep your eye out for good deals. Save up for those nice things you really want.

But don't feel like you have to go out and buy everything all at once, or that to be a "real kilt wearer" your wardrobe has to be as extensive as some of those on this forum who wear the kilt everyday, or who have been collecting their wardrobe for decades.

[Kilt_Em_All]

Well said, Matt. I know that I often find myself in awe of the wardrobes possessed by some of the members here. On my budget, it would not only be impossible for me to buy all those accessories, but pointless as well. I don't have the ability (yet ) to go to work kilted, so any kilting I do is reserved for evenings and weekends. While having 15 kilts and 30 pairs of hose would be great, I really don't have a use for all that at this point. It won't stop me from buying a little along and working up to that, though.

-Elliott

[Phogfan86]

Great point, Matt!!! That was, in fact, the impression I had when I first started spending time here. I thought it was a big fashion show and that guys like me -- guys who work okay-paying jobs who have a few kilts, mainly knockabout kilts for $45 and under -- were the exception rather than the rule.

I found myself to be incorrect. Yes, there are folks with 1,648 kilts and lots of PCs and accessories, but there are also a bunch of good folks here who are a lot like me when it our means and resources and, ultimately, our collection of kilts.

Sometimes I worry, though, that some good people fall to the wayside because they look at a few posts and give up because they don't think this is the place for them for exactly the reasons Matt stated.

[Chas]

Are we giving the impression to people that the kilt wearer should have a dozen kilts, a closet full of jackets for all occasions, custom hose to match each kilt, and a plethora of sporrans from which to choose?

I think the simple answer is Yes. Many members post pictures of new acquisitions, but I have yet to see a thread titled ' This is the Sporran I Recently Sold '. A simple fact of life is this, quality never comes cheaply. It is easy for members to become frustrated when the look that they want costs as much as a second hand car. That frustration can easily lead to resentment, which in turn leads to animosity and acrimonious postings. In the final outcome people end up hating one another and not knowing why; they just do.

I think your post and others in the same vein can do well to redress some of the pain and is to be welcomed.

Regards

Chas

[crboltz]

With the exceptions of the kilts I bought when I bought the PCs for our wedding (I made all the kilts for the wedding myself), my "kilt money" doesn't come from my 9 to 5 job. Luckily (for me), I have the skills that allow me to do some freelance work every once in a while (and now that I have a "company" that represents me, I'm getting more extra offers). My money from my freelance work goes to kilts. That way, I don't impact the family finances with my hobby. (at the moment, I have the steady income (with benefits) job -- so my salary is what we live off of). I really want a second PC (or similar kilt jacket), but I typically want a new kilt more. I am in negotiations for another "freelance gig" and if the money comes through quickly, I might buy a new jacket (although I really want an alpha kilt).

Anyway, to the new folks -- you don't need a ton of money, nor do you need a made to measure tank to get started. The Still waters and Frugle kilts are a great start (and that is what most of mine are). I save my two (soon to be three) made to measures for special events (1 is a tank, one is a great one from Rocky, and the third is my forth coming Punk Alt-kilt).

If you really want a lot of kilts for a lower price -- learn to make them. I decided I'm never going to make a tartan kilt again (but after making 6 for the wedding -- I never want to sew any fabric with any sort of stripe again!). I have a casual kilt I'm working on, that i haven't touched in about a year -- maybe in this new attempt to show that we aren't rich I need to get back to it.

I think my sewing machine is calling!

Chris.

[MMorgan]

If you really want a lot of kilts for a lower price -- learn to make them. I decided I'm never going to make a tartan kilt again (but after making 6 for the wedding -- I never want to sew any fabric with any sort of stripe again!). I have a casual kilt I'm working on, that i haven't touched in about a year -- maybe in this new attempt to show that we aren't rich I need to get back to it.

I think my sewing machine is calling!

Chris.

I am poor... (read single dad with two little boys that live with me...) AND I am currently unemployed.... for 60 bucks I was able to go out and get enough material (4 yardsx60 wide each of black and of green poly/cotton canvas and thread and pins etc etc) to do 4 kilts found me a NICE old sewing machine at a garage sale for 10 bucks and away I went....

So yea if your not afraid to jump in and do it yourself, you can have fun(atleast I have fun making new things and learing new skills) and not run yourself more into the poor house then you already are....

Now just to find a decent sporran LOL

[MrLion]

Thank you for this post Matt.

[Riverkilt]

NOW you tell me......

[KFCarter]

Very thoughtful post Matt; I appreciate you bringing this up.

I've only just begun to wear kilts... less than a year... but I've wanted to since I was a boy. All I knew back then was that they were expensive and out of reach, and I didn't put the desire on the back burner, I literally took it off the stove and forgot about it.

I've only recently had the means to indulge my interest... the result of a special, one-off kind of situation. You might say I've been making up for lost time, although I've just about reached the end of my budget.

In my exuberance over my string of kilt and kit acquisitions, I've been all too happy to rush to the camera and get the posts on XMarks (no pics, it didn't happen!) and I've posted quite a string over the last few months.

It hadn't crossed my mind that this sort of display, coupled with many such on the forum, could be discouraging to those with limited budgets, but now that you've mentioned it, I see that it could.

How do we put that in balance? I think that XMarks has been a great resource for those with money to spend, looking to spend it well and at the same time there are lots of great DIY resources, and also many generous gift and trade transactions that have taken place through this forum as well which have certainly been a benefit to those with tight budgets.

Perhaps just communicating about it can help. I think so. And toward that end we have you to thank for bringing up this subject.

[ChubRock]

Ahhh to have Mr. Newsome's taste and budget. Nice pairing.
ChubRock

Didn't mean to insult you Mr. Newsome. Unknowingly though, it seems I may have opened a discussion. I just admire all of your photos and assumed you had a closet the size of a house. I have read and understood this thread and feel better about my purchases thus far.