Scots with broomsticks

[ForresterModern]

During the Great War, or the First World War (WWI) to those of us on the western side of the big pond, there were often periods of time when soldiers were spread thin, low on ammunition and supplies but asked to heroically defend their lines nonetheless. During one of these desparate times a group of young scottish recruits were sent to the front line without any weapons, and provided only with a wooden broom handle to defend themselves. Their wily lieutenant gave them the heroic "never give up, never give in" speech, but was met with a question from one of the green recruits asking to how they were supposed to do that with broom handles, when the German soldiers probably had rifles and bayonets and even machine guns. The lieutenant without hesitation (because hesitation shows uncertainty) told them to point the broomhandles at the germans and say "bangity-bangity-bangity" and that that would kill the germans at a distance just as a rifle would. The same green recruit asked what to do if they got into hand to hand combat and could not shoot, to which the lieutenant (again swiftly and without hesitation) told them to point the blunt end of the broom handle at thier german foe and strike forward in a stabbing motion while saying "stabbity-stabbity-stabbity", which would kill the germans just as if it were a bayonet on the end of their pretend rifle. The lieutenant retired to the rear while the green scots recruits manned their trenches with trepidation and their blunt ended broom handles, like real soldiers.
Next morning as the sun began to rise over the hill, toward the scots came a wave of germans attacking as a running horde. The Green Scots rose from their trenches, pointed their broomhandles toward the onrushing germans and started shouting "Bangity-bangity-bangity" and lo and behold many of the germans fell to the ground dead or mortally wounded. The remaining germans made it through the barb wire to the trenches where the green scots again rose up stabbing with their blunt ended broom handles and shouting "Stabbity-stabbity-stabbity" toward the onrushing german tide, to which the remaining german soldiers all fell down as if mortally wounded. A few wounded germans in the distance crawled back to their lines to tell their commander of the great battle and the amazing feats of the brave green scots.
An hour later another smaller and more spread out wave of germans without rifles came walking over the hill, there arms straight out in front of them, across no mans land toward the green scots, who rose out of their trenches and again with great bravery and confidance shouted "bangity-bangity-bangity", but none of the germans fell, they just kept on walking, through the barb wire as if it did not exist. When the germans reached the trenches the green scots rose again with their broom handles bravely shouting "stabbity-stabbity-stabbity", but the germans just kept on walking, and nearly all the scots were trampled into the mud, while the germans just kept on walking over them, past them and onward toward the rear. The one curious green scot rose wounded from the mud and cocked his head to hear the Germans mumbling in a low gravelly voice:





"Tankity, tankity, tankity."

[Galician]

[piperdbh]

Really?
Why didn't the Scots fly their broomsticks over the Germans and yell "bombity, bombity, bombity"?

[Highland Logan]

Really?
Why didn't the Scots fly their broomsticks over the Germans and yell "bombity, bombity, bombity"?

You can fly a plane but not a rifle silly...lol

Frank

[Nighthawk]

You can fly a plane but not a rifle silly...lol

Frank

Now it makes sense.

[The Guy in the Kilt at UC]

So a line of soldiers and a line of Germans are at a standstill in the Great War. No one can move in on either side. Finally the Scots get an idea. "How about we call out a common German name, and when the fellow pokes his head up to answer we shoot him."

"Brilliant idea," he get from the men.

He yells out, "Hey, Jan!"

"Ja?" says a German soldier as pops his head up. POW! He's shot in the head.

A few moments later...
"Hey, Jan!"
"Ja?" says a German soldier as pops his head up. POW! Another one's shot in the head.

A few moments later...
"Hey, Jan!"
Nothing happens. "I guess they figured it out."

Suddenly, a voice from the German side
"Hey, William!"
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"Is that you, Jan?"
"Ja!" POW! He's shot in the head.