The Order of the Dandelion: A Quest for the Truth! (Or Victorian Hyperbole...)

[KD Burke]

Several months ago, when I first found XMTS, I eagerly signed up, thrilled to find a place where good advice and pleasant conversation could be had.

As I voraciously consumed the various threads, I heard whispers of a shadowy and arcane organization called "The Order of the Dandelion." Intrigued, I commenced my researches. Whilst browsing the various social groups, I was astonished to find The Order listed among them! Surely this was a ruse, or a most unlikely error on the part of this secretive and vaguely sinister organization!

With vast trepidation, I clicked on the link. I had to know! Astonished, I perused the list of acknowledged members. There were Moderators, noted kilt makers, a juggernaut of all things. Thoughts racing, I logged off before (I sincerely hoped!) my breach of their security was noticed. In stunned silence I sut down my machine and carried myself to bed.

My dreams were troubled. In my fevered state I imagined black helicopters, boot-shod men wearing black balaclavas breaching my door and rushing up the stair.....I woke. With trembling hands I poured a stiff shot of Glenrothes and sipped it late into the night.

When I finally slept again, clarity seemed to seep into my thoughts. I awoke refreshed and filled with resolve. Perhaps, I reasoned, the Order was not so sinister as I had imagined? There were undoubtedly admirable people listed among the members. Their creed seemed, on its face, to be one I agreed with. Perhaps with time and effort, I might prove myself worthy of membership!

No doubt by invitation only. There would be a series of examinations designed to winnow out the unworthy aspirants. Then the obligatory trials by ordeal and combat to qualify the aspirant for the long, arduous and dangerous quest to gain the renown necessary for membership in such an august body.

Then I found this thread:

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...rder+dandelion

Surely not...open to all?? Not for the first time I was astounded by the truth I had discovered. Then, as awareness dawned, I was again dumbfounded by the subtle machinations of the Order! The finding of the thing is the quest! They lay a few sparse clues, allow the existence of the order to call the worthy like the siren's song! I see it now....I see it all....Wait.. there's a knock at my door. Do I hear helicopters? I must.....

[Big Mikey]

BALACLAVAS?!? We don't need no stinkin' balaclavas! Gentlemen, don your sporrans!



Remember, the beating must leave no marks.



The skull is ONLY to be taken if no apology is offered.



So sayeth the JUGGERNAUT!

[ccga3359]

It appears that you've mistaken Order of the Dandelion with SOKS, also known as Clan Destine, also known as Sept Titious. If one is willing to lay down his life so that I can reap all the glory feel free to join by submitted resume with references and beer. Otherwise join the OOTD, we have high tea and scones.

[dfmacliam]

Surely you must be confused

[KD Burke]

I have only moments.....they are after me. I must make haste!

The men crashed through my threshold en masse. My beloved Abigail (lovely dog though she is!) is no fighter. She abandoned the comfort of the couch to hide in the dark corner. I hope she was unnoticed.

I caught only a glimpse....jack-booted thugs. On entering, one sneezed prodigiously. There was no mistaking what I saw. They wore trousers! This can not be the Order! I flee....

[ForresterModern]

Okay, so who posted the picture of Grant in the black jack boots and balaclava, rapelling from the stealth helicopter? Geez, can't trust anybody anymore.

Really, you were only dreaming when you thought you discovered the OOTD---it is only a figleaf of your imagination, a phantasm, a woodsprite, something only rumored of in quiet whispers in small fearful groups on dark moonless eves, a wive's tale used to scare small children into staying in their beds at night, the bogeyman.

Oh, and even though it says I am a member in my signature below, that is only there to impress the newbies.

Jeff :ootd:

[Panache]

Alert! All Dandelions to arms!

One of our fellowship is in Peril!

Launch the XMTSAS Saltire and sound the klaxxon alarm!


Help is on the way!

Hold the line!


Cheers

Jamie :ootd:

[Standard]

We are awaiting your command Captain Panache. Just give us the signal and we'll be securing the area in a flash.

:ootd:

[dfmacliam]

Next he will be telling us he knows a secret handshake and where the OotD meets, if there was such a thing....

[Jock Scot]

Alert! All Dandelions to arms!

One of our fellowship is in Peril!

Launch the XMTSAS Saltire and sound the klaxxon alarm!


Help is on the way!

Hold the line!


Cheers

Jamie :ootd:

Now hold on a minute,Jamie! I can't go into action improperly dressed, now can I? In this part of the world its nearly winter and there are no dandelions. Now does this mean that we are expected go into action improperly dressed? Or, are we only expected to operate for six months a year? Was the non issue of a synthetic dandelion an oversight by the management? Are we expected to provide our own? NO! DON'T ANSWER THAT ONE!