Poetic Gems of McGonagall

[Lallans]

Poetic Gems Selected From The Works Of William McGonagall, Poet and Tragedian- how to describe this work using mere English? Well, I can't. But here is a tribute:

Born in Ireland and moved to Dundee
He composed very much poetry and with no thought for fee
And wrote that a lot using many a plot
And real estate and some other things, happening or not.

And of him the Magazine Punch one said
He was "the greatest... Verse writer of his Age!"
Because he wrote from his head or sleeping, p'raps lying in bed
And his poems, they were lengthy and manly and sage.

And I weep to read of the peas
That were thrown at him by rude publicans
When he first read his poems aloud and publicly
For as I said he asked for no fees
But wrote for honour and art, not for peas or for publicans.

So! I cry out most loudly not with distain, but to say and proclaim
That this book and his others are well worth the price
That in them you will find much good and no vice
And that reading them aloud in your home, will remove all your mice.

For his ear was not of flesh but of unmelted gold
And that most solid and unbending to mere
Meaning or rhyming or sense for as was fore here told
He was no mere mortal, McGonigal, that once stood quite near
To where other poets lived and trembled in fear of his ear.