8 Scots Jokes

[tpa]

8 jokes only Scots would understand
Eight jokes that only those with Scottish roots will be able to understand, found on Facebook, but originally from Scotland Now, compiled by Fraser Glen.



Do you understand our Scottish jokes?
SCOTS are renowned for their unique and wonderful sense of humour.
But for those outside of Scotland, it can often be hard to understand jokes which include the Scots dialect.
Check out our list of eight jokes only Scots would understand:


1. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
"Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," she replies.
2. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.
3.Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.
4. After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.
5. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq?
Coo eight.
6. A teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says: "Can you come and get me? I've missed the last bus and it's pouring with rain."
"Okay," says her dad. "Where are you ringing from?"
The girl replies: "From the top of my head right down to my knickers".
7. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.
8. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
"No", argues the assistant, "look at that - it says Taiwan".

[bdkilted]

I understood all but the first. What is Govan?

[Manxstralian]

I understood all but the first. What is Govan?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Govan

Cheers,

Cameron

[Kiltedjohn]

Perhaps even more baffling is the conversation between two visitors to a Glasgow hospital:

"There's the surgeon."
"I didnae see the other twa."

[Calgacus]

All good, and amazingly I hadn't heard any of them before! Number 4 was particularly funny.

Here's another-

Q: What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?

A: Bing sings but Walt disnae!

[tulloch]

Great. Made my day. Thanks.

[tpa]

Man walks into a baker's shop and asks:
"Can a have a mince roon?"
Baker says:
Ay, on ye go pal its a free country.

[bdkilted]

Manxtralian; do you work for a help desk? For while I'm sure the link you provided in technically correct (yes, even wikipedia is correct once in a while); I still don't get the joke.
Is Comfy another area around Glasgow?

[StevieR]

Manxtralian; do you work for a help desk? For while I'm sure the link you provided in technically correct (yes, even wikipedia is correct once in a while); I still don't get the joke.
Is Comfy another area around Glasgow?

comfy = come fae = come from.

[StevieR]

Glaswegian bakers:

Baker "D'ye want an eclair or a meringue".

Customer "No, you were right first time".