Kilt or no? Group input sought...

**Mychael Sporrano** · 5th August 04, 05:48 PM

Okay, here is the deal. A few weeks ago I saw my Grandmother for the very first time during which I was wearing a kilt. She was up front that she didn't like it, stating quite clearly that I looked like a girl from behind. My long hair wasn't helping. I laughed her off, just as I have been laughing off her hair comments for the past decade. As we were leaving, she mentioned to my wife that she didn't want me to wear a kilt when we came out in a few weeks to take her out for her 86th birthday. Karen also laughed, but she said later while we were driving home that Grandma was serious. I know the issue is that she doesn't relish the thought of being seen out with me in public.

That really bummed me out because it seems fine to buck society, perfectly normal to buck the parents. But, defy Grandma?! At first I figured that since it was the old girl's birthday I could capitulate and had myself resigned to doing so. But, as time has gone by, it has not been setting well with me. So, what to do??

Two things bear mentioning here. Primarily, my two children will be kilted, one boy and one girl, 5 and 7 years respectively. Secondly, my father will be there, and this will be our first meeting since I began wearing the kilt full time two months ago. As for dad, he expressed reservations about my wearing a kilt when I first mentioned my plans to buy one. He probably will not be thrilled seeing me in one and I want to get it out of the way where he and I are concerned, if that makes sense.

That sumptuous 13 oz kilt and green lovat tweed waistcoat from Kinloch Anderson are calling my name...

Any thoughts, o insightful group?

Mychael

**GMan** · 5th August 04, 06:02 PM

Mychael,

Wow this is a tough one, it is like you said Grandma, and I always felt to upset Grandma was a no-no. She did say that she really did not like you being kilted, and I would probably go along with that, however you are an adult, and that in and of itself is some merit in what you do and say.

I would go for a compromise and show up at the party without the kilt, and talk to others that you too wear a kilt (easy too do with the kids kilted), and about half way through the party change into your kilt. You have already told people that you wear a kilt, and maybe with you letting them know you can then show them what it looks like, they are already prepared. Of course I am unsure of your family dynamics, but that is how I got most of my family aware that I am a kilted gentleman.

Good luck to you what ever you decide, and do let us know how everything went. Tell your Grandma Happy Birthday for me.

**Casey** · 5th August 04, 06:41 PM

Mychael,

Life's not fair. What's important? What can you or can you not live with?

Interesting choices, eh?

Casey (Old fart in a kilt.)

**zeytoun** · 5th August 04, 06:48 PM

I'm all for being true to yourself, and being rebellious and all that. However, it is her birthday... If I were in the same situation, I would probably ask her if she meant it, and if she did, I would humor her request as a special birthday wish, but make it clear that any other day of the year that I'm wearing a kilt if and where I please. Those are my $0.02. Good luck.

**Jimmy Carbomb** · 5th August 04, 06:51 PM

Pretty easy in my mind. It all comes from my upbringing.

"Respect Your Elders.

Grandma isn't going to be around forever. Humour the lass while she's here.

Dad has PLENTY of time to see the pleats in action. You can shock him at a Steelers game.

For now, discretion is the better part of valor. Put the hair in a ponytail, wear some pants, and make the old woman feel good.

As soon as she's out the door, say three "Hail Mary's" and put on a kilt!!!

**awoodfellow** · 5th August 04, 07:30 PM

just my 2 cents worth ....

in all honesty, i would honor Grandma's request. i appreciate your desire to go kilt, but it's only a one time thing.

i'll live an die in a denim shirt. i haven't worn anything but a denim shirt for the last 6 years. but if Grandma expressed her desire for me to wear an Oxford for her birthday, i surely would. no matter how much it pains me.

i think this is a moment for consideration to Grandma.

Best of luck, whichever choice you make.

ambrose ..

ps... but when it's family reunion time and the horse shoes start flyin', you'll dazzle the family with a ringer of a kilt!

**Graham** · 5th August 04, 07:36 PM

Mychael, I agree with Jimmy. If it were me, I would dress to please her.

I hate wearing ties, but if I'm to go to a function where a tie is necessary, I will wear one.

When my older sister was married, her husband (who hated beards) required me to shave to come to the wedding.
That I refused, I've had a beard not for nearly 35 years.
Trousers are different, you can change out of them when you get home.

That my advice.

**Blu (Ontario)** · 5th August 04, 07:50 PM

Does your wife have to ask permission when, for whatever reason, she decides to put on a pair of pants? Probably not, and neither should you when it comes to a kilt. However... just as you might decide to wear a kilt, for whatever reason, you might also - optionally - decide to wear a pair of pants. You have to decide under the circumstances what is most appropriate. If it were me, I might wear pants just to make a point that I have the option of doing that. I would probably also wear a celtic or jacobite style shirt with it. When somebody asks... you can tell them you usually wear it with one of your kilts. Unlike some of the kilted pioneers posting here, I do not wear kilts full time nor do I feel that it is necessary for me to do so. So a decision not to wear a kilt would not stick in my craw.

IMHO
blu

**Xcop** · 5th August 04, 08:01 PM

Mychael, I have to agree with Jimmy on this one too. I know its a difficult situation, but its HER day, so let her be the Queen on her day. Enjoy her while you have her.

David

**David Woodington** · 5th August 04, 08:13 PM

I have to agree with the rest,When my sister had her wedding I told her I was going to wear mine (note she had never seen me in one)but she asked me not to.
Well I figured it was her day and not mine so I respected her wishes.I did wear it earlier but not at the wedding and I'll tell you about that later.
Think of it this way its only one day and its not like your selling your soul buy cutting your hair or burning your kilts.Plus i'm sure we have all made this sacrifice for someone at one time or another.

Enjoy yourself and kilt up afterwards

later Dave