A Way With Words

[Southern Breeze]

A little post to start off the new year.

1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes in-verse.

21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

[piperdbh]

24. While eating a clown, one cannibal asked the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

[Mael Coluim]

[Big Mikey]

25. Two shriners meet....."I don't remember your name but your fez is familiar."

[Sionnach]

Now if only I can remeber them when the appropriate occasion arises. Thanks, Southern Breeze. I always look forward to these posts.

[Cerebite]

I once heard a quite long one using US states [which of course is not coming up in a quick Google for me] along the lines of:
...Did Delaware her New Jersey?....

I bet some of our young tech savvy, or old willy insomniac, members will find it for me/ us before mornng ith:

[Livingston]

I once heard a quite long one using US states [which of course is not coming up in a quick Google for me] along the lines of:
...Did Delaware her New Jersey?....

I bet some of our young tech savvy, or old willy insomniac, members will find it for me/ us before mornng ith:

There is probably more than one. The one I heard went:

What did Delaware, boys? Idaho, Alaska.

[Carolina Kiltman]

I once heard a quite long one using US states [which of course is not coming up in a quick Google for me] along the lines of:
...Did Delaware her New Jersey?....

I bet some of our young tech savvy, or old willy insomniac, members will find it for me/ us before mornng ith:

It was the words to a song out of the 30's or 50's (?) What did Idaho, she hoed her Maryland, and so on ad nauseaum

[piperdbh]

Or...
What will Delaware to the Baltimore (ball tomorrow)?
Her New Jersey.


Och, musha.

[Weasel Mender]

You should be subjected to cruel and unusual punishment the whole lot of you

Weasel