No Kilts Allowed?

[Mark's Mom]

I inquired and hunted for dress code rules for my son's Senior Prom, and today I finally found last year's code online. The male dress code calls for trousers only. I'm shocked! The way the code is written, Mark may be refused entry to his public school prom for wearing a kilt. If you have read my other threads, you know that I am a newbie planning to make Mark's senior prom kilt in the Hay tartan and his Prince Charlie jacket. It never occurred to me that something as refined as a formal kilt attire could be forbidden at a prom!

I have already purchased the Hay tartan fabric from Strathmore and have paid $300 for a kiltmaking class so I can do a good job: I've ordered black wool fabric for the jacket and numerous notions and supplies for these garments. Come Hell or high water, I'm making the kilt for Mark! No one has told me directly yet that kilts are not allowed, but I am trying to prepare for that case because the code seems to be written in a way to prevent young men from wearing them. Either that or they just don't want guys wearing evening gowns.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get the high school to approve the kilt as acceptable attire should there be a problem? I have read a lot about the problems Nathan Warmack had--his being barred from entering his prom; the attorney that set his school district straight after the fact; and the formal apology issued to him by the school superintendent. I want to get any such problems straightened out before the prom so Mark can wear his kilt and enjoy his prom.

Do you know of any California legal precedents on this issue that I might attach to a request for permission for him to wear the kilt? Do you think Mark should just show up in the kilt and hope that the gatekeepers have enough common sense not to embarrass him, the school, and the district for barring a young man from wearing a kilt to the prom? I'm not sure what's the best way to handle this.

[Nighthawk]

My first though- go and talk to the school administration. Most times, they can be reasoned with- especially if it's a parent doing the reasoning. If they won't be reasonable... well, they don't really like the mention of cultural prejudice, and then there's that buzzword "diversity." Put those together with "newspaper" and I suspect they will see reason. You really think they would deny entry to a black student in an African Dashiki?



I doubt it... Also, for more ammunition on the cultural clothing front, you can look here:

http://www.kiltmen.com/world.htm

It's a listing of all the unbifurcated garments of other cultures.

BUT- try reason first! Go into the school with your son, sit down with the admin, and discuss the issue.

[Teufel Hunden]

Mark's Mom, I would guess that you'll encounter little resistance since you personally are going in to settle things. Sometimes teachers and administrators like to dismiss a student making a request that doesn't meet the specifically written down requirements, but parents getting involved aren't usually written off so quickly. I would HIGHLY recommend against just letting him show up at the door if someone is going to be standing there checking the appropriateness of everyone's attire. IMO, it's never good to gamble on the idea of some random school staff member having an ounce of common sense.

So, all that being said, I COMPLETELY agree with Nighthawk's post. If someone says ANYTHING but an emphatic, "Why yes he can wear a kilt!" just start throwing out words like discrimination, and cultural heritage. Hot button things like that will bring negative attention to the individual administrators will change their minds pretty quickly.

My first though- go and talk to the school administration. Most times, they can be reasoned with- especially if it's a parent doing the reasoning. If they won't be reasonable... well, they don't really like the mention of cultural prejudice, and then there's that buzzword "diversity." Put those together with "newspaper" and I suspect they will see reason. You really think they would deny entry to a black student in an African Dashiki?

BUT- try reason first! Go into the school with your son, sit down with the admin, and discuss the issue.

[Mark's Mom]

Hi Nighthawk, Thanks for your advice. I will check out the site. I know that last year an Indian young man wore a cultural costume to this school's prom, but I think it included long pants of some sort which could be interpreted as trousers. Being the mom of special ed kids, I know that it pays to have my ducks in a row and amunition close at hand before approaching the district. I am fearless when prepared.

[xman]

Hi Nighthawk, Thanks for your advice. I will check out the site. I know that last year an Indian young man wore a cultural costume to this school's prom, but I think it included long pants of some sort which could be interpreted as trousers. Being the mom of special ed kids, I know that it pays to have my ducks in a row and amunition close at hand before approaching the district. I am fearless when prepared.

Oh this'll be good. Are we looking at prom time again already?
Y'are a fearless mum. Use facebook! Please keep us well posted.

[MacGuffin]

Talking with the administrators seems to be the best coarse of action.

Emphasize that the kilt is a cultural emblem and that your son wants to honor his Scottish heritage. Mention that the kilt is considered to be formal wear and has been worn by many as such (Prince Charles,Sir Sean Connery,Ewan MacGregor ...), and that your son will be wearing black tie to the event (dressed more formally than most of the students attending ).

Maybe bring some pictures of Scottish formal dress so they get a better idea of what you are talking about.

Anyway, I hope this has helped. Best of luck to you and your son from a local O.C. student. =)

[Mark's Mom]

Hi McGuffin,
Your idea of bringing pictures is a good one. I found a couple pictures online of guys wearing formal kilts to a prom.

[Jock Scot]

Yes absolutely talk to the powers that be. If it helps, show them this picture(not mine) of some of the children(?!) of the Lochaber High School in Fort William, Scotland.When they(the young ladies and gentlemen) have to, they do themselves proud. I think the picture is of the leaving do of that particular year before going out into that wide world. A prom(?) in your terms, perhaps. The kilted gentleman seated in the centre of the front row is the Head Master.

[Mark's Mom]

Hi Jock Scot,
What a beautiful picture of the young people before their prom in Scotland. Our proms are formal dances near the end of the school year, for Juniors and Seniors. Mark is a Senior and it will be his first and last high school prom. It is a sort of rite of passage for young people here--a final formal dance before going out in the world or on to college. Mark is Autistic, so it is indeed a special event for him. That's why I want to make sure there aren't any hitches. Thanks for your advice.

[AKScott]

Best of luck Mark's Mom.

EDIT: I mean this in a postive way. My brother in law is a school teacher and many of his stories make me cringe. I do hope your son ends up at his prom, smiling, in his kilt.