Humorous comebacks and snappy retorts here please

**AKScott** · 8th May 11, 02:07 AM

I am bookmarking threads that n00bs really ought to avail themselves too, and this one is missing.

For someone new to kilts, please to collect here the elegant responses you have to the various comments you receive about being out and about in a kilt.

EG:

to the young man with his pants halfway down to his knees, the sneer and the "skirt" coment:

"Better men than you found a way to let the boys swing freely centuries ago." You'll have to be ready to bring it if you are going to sing it...

EG2:

Nothing is 'worn' under the kilt, everything is in perfect working order.

EG3:

Good girls don't ask and bad girls find out for themselves.

EG4:

"I have been to Scotland twice because I love the look of a man in a kilt."

Thank you, and may I say your hair looks lovely this evening? Or something. I am engaged so I had to take the high road on that one.

EG5:

One for your lady, should a random trollop scream an ethanol soaked compliment in your general direction:

"I too love a man in a kilt. This one is taken. Find your own."

and etcetera. I have some notecards taped to my door, but I can't legitimately take credit for any of them.

What have you delivered (riverkilt cough cough) and what do you have on standby for the right opportunity?

**Beertigger** · 8th May 11, 04:34 PM

"If you were enough of a woman to find out, you'd be too much of a lady to ask."

**Kilted Jeeper** · 9th May 11, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by Beertigger

"If you were enough of a woman to find out, you'd be too much of a lady to ask."

Oh I like this one BT!!!!

**Mike M.** · 8th May 11, 05:41 PM

I can't take credit for this, but...

"What a Scotsman wears under, wears well."

**Joshua** · 8th May 11, 06:05 PM

My personal favorite and used often... Courtesy of Robert (RKilts) if I remember correctly...

questioning female "what are you wearing under that thing?"

retort "Can you keep a secret?"

questioning female nods...

zinger "So can I."

**Piper** · 8th May 11, 06:23 PM

My most frequent reply when asked what I'm wearing under the kilt is: "That depends upon the occasion, the company, and the ambient temperature. Not necessarily in that order.".

**cruiser348** · 8th May 11, 06:33 PM

Question: "Why are you wearing that?"

Answer:"Because if I took it off someone might be offended."

Don't recall reading it on here before but as a noob myself I'm sure someone here has uttered it before.