Some more do's and don'ts on the board

[KiltedKnome]

I am going to suggest a cooling off period here. I would ask that everyone go back and reread their posts, and the posts of others, and think about how we can learn from this exchange. There have been some wonderful, very informative, posts in this thread, but I think emotions are kicking in, and that is counter productive.

[Panache]

So you are not going to address the valid point that "redshshank" raised? You are hiding behind the excuse of bad manners,sir!

Jock,

If you go back and look at all the things I have written in this thread you will see me advocating

(1) Truthful responses

(2) Polite responses

(3) Respectful responses

(4) Helpful responses

(5) Friendly responses

I have also offered the thought that each member has a different perspective on things and that our words earn our opinions credence here based on what we say and how we say it.

I feel that the opinion Redshank voiced of XMTS is not true.

Do some people not take a lot of care before responding?

Absolutely

However what he stated seemed pretty biased, unpleasant, and rude.

I don't agree with him.

Take that for what it is worth

As for me, I'm done with this thread

Cheers

Jamie :ootd:

[HarborSpringsPiper]

The Truth is an important part of any community, but communities also need Politeness, Respect, and Goodwill to work.

Well said, Jamie. We would all do well to remember this in all aspects of our life.

With most of the other important aspects of communication unavailable to us on internet forums, I think I'll try to do a better job of remembering this when chiming in.

[Steve Ashton]

I think it is a good time to remind ourselves of the guiding principle of this forum. We are "The Ladies and Gentlemen of X Marks".

Contrary to popular belief, being a gentleman is a case of having neither a certain education nor a certain ancestry. It is, in many ways, almost a belief system that governs a man's actions in every aspect of his life. It is also something that anyone can achieve and that brings its own reward.

So what does it mean to be a gentleman in the 21st Century? Well, frankly it means subscribing to a higher standard of conduct.

Honesty, integrity and fair play are some of the hallmarks of a real gentleman. Followed closely by the basic building block of respect, both given and received. A gentleman should never seek an unfair advantage over an adversary in competition but instead should try his utmost to achieve the best he can at all times.


A gentleman also shows respect for people with a different background. This can be as simple as knowing how to phrase a complement, or as complicated as showing a newcomer where they have commited a faux pas. Once again, the return comes in the form of mutual respect, with the additional benefit of remaining true to one's ideals.

Being polite and showing respect are, of course, the essence of being a gentleman. That's not to say that a gentleman is a fawning wimp. Quite the contrary, in fact: he is frequently an immovable resistance where morals or justice are concerned. By his exercising a polite and friendly attitude, tense situations can be handled with grace and all parties involved will get to express their beliefs and concerns, leading to a deeper understanding for everyone. A reputation as a diplomatic, reasonable individual can lead to great things.

A gentleman is protective of the people he associates with, but not possessive. Once again, the aura of being a solid, reliable individual is essential. There is no need for macho displays of territoriality when one is comfortable with them self. Remaining honest and true will ensure that a companion, friend or acquaintance knows exactly where they stand at all times.

Above all, I believe the question of what being a gentleman means can be answered by quoting one of my oldest friends: "A gentleman always tries to make sure that the other person feels comfortable."

Now I will ask you all to go back and re-read your posts. When you have done that, with a self critical eye, ask yourselves, "Did I truly stay true to the guiding principal of this forum? Did I truly act as a gentleman would?"


:ootd:

[Arlen]

It seems to me that one of the things I usually subscribe to is the idea that if two people are being polite adults and discussing a point back and forth they can usually come to a joint conclusion.
That said, with respect to Jock Scot and Panache, maybe it's just time to agree to disagree.

Redshank obviously feels, and Jock Scot similarly so, that there are times where a little bluntness can make a lot of positive changes.

Panache and others obviously believe that certain bluntness can come off as plain rudeness.

The fact is, none of you seem likely to change your veiwpoint for the simple fact that you both perceive the comment differently.
Nothing wrong with that, but no need to continue hashing it out, either.

[GMan]

Ok... am I the only person who has a sudden urge to start posting in Latin? >

Yes!!!

[Scotus]

"Nice white hose! They go with with the fly plaid pinned to your turtleneck!"

Panache, I'm still laughing about this one.

On a serious note, I think this is one of the best moderated sites on the Internet, IMO. I think all of us have a tendency to want to jump and correct people, and all of us do that in our own way; however, when someone who isn't a moderator steps in and gives us more rules (as noble and good as those rules may seem), on a forum with a lot of rules already, it might rub people the wrong way. So, when a non-moderator writes rules that you should always say 'nice kilt' or 'well done,' I think it might create a certain amount of tension, as it has in this thread.

[KFCarter]

On a serious note, I think this is one of the best moderated sites on the Internet, IMO. I think all of us have a tendency to want to jump and correct people, and all of us do that in our own way; however, when someone who isn't a moderator steps in and gives us more rules (as noble and good as those rules may seem), on a forum with a lot of rules already, it might rub people the wrong way.

I agree with this in principle, but if you go back to the OP's original statement, he described it as "his take" (an opinion) and suggested saying "well done, and often" as a "DO". It's hard to see this as the same as stating a rule and IMHO a few of the negative responses to his suggestions have been a bit over the top (not yours, btw).

His suggestion certainly hit a sore spot with some folks, but I don't think it's evidence of widespread tension on the forum on this subject. I could be wrong about that, but it seems to me if we "rule" out any post that might rub someone the wrong way, or be judged by some to be uninformed, then the forum could eventually devolve into a private conversation between a small number of cognoscenti.

I don't think that's anyone's intention, but I do think that some may be unaware how "authoritarian" their judgment's can feel to relative newbies. There exists a thin, but important line between being "authoritarian" and "authoritative" and it's worth observing. IMHO, "Manners", rather than being something to "hide behind", are actually a set of helpful tools to maintain such distinctions.

respectfully,
Ken

[Phil]

I haven't joined in this particular thread because I have been known from time to time to stray beyond the bounds of politeness. This is generally in the spirit of provoking a lively discussion, however, and I do not criticise someone who has posted an appalling photo of themselves in some farrago of a costume meant to resemble highland dress. It actually doesn't happen that often anyway and I wouldn't like to discourage anyone from trying. We all have to start somewhere after all and the likes of myself, Jock etc. had plenty of examples around us to emulate.

[Dall_Piobaire]

one should alway remember to comment "Nice Kilt" even if it looks like a potato sack

you should always comment on a cheap and nasty kilt "Nice Kilt, you can see the quality and craftsmanship that went into building that one"

always remember it's more polite to blow smoke up people arses than to speak the truth.

Oh Well done indeed!