You may recall my recent troubles finding an appropriate kilt jacket to wear to my step-daughter's wedding next weekend. I had hoped to find a standard Argyle jacket and waistcoat for a dressy-yet-nonformal look. But I simply can't afford to purchase one at this time. If I can't find something to wear with my kilt, I will default to wearing a standard black suit that I have.

This is an evening wedding (taking place at 6pm), but the dress code she has specified is a bit confusing. It is most decidedly nonformal for the guests, although she will be wearing a more formal dress. Her spouse-to-be's father will be wearing his military dress blues, though, so I know that at least someone else is dressing up. Most guests will probably be wearing anything from blue jeans and a nice shirt to slacks and maybe a tie. Might not see more than one or two suits, and probably nothing on the tuxedo level.

Anyway, since an Argyle jacket is out, I've been keeping my eyes open for anything that will work. This past weekend, as I was packing up stuff and moving it out of my late mother's house, I found my grandfather's USAF mess dress jackets (one black, one white). These are probably vintage 1960s-era jackets. I tried them on and they fit pretty darn well.

So I'm asking myself whether this would be suitable or appropriate for this wedding. Actually, I'm asking all of you!

I know absolutely nothing about mess dress, or the rules/traditions/etiquette on wearing it. So here are my questions:

1. Would this be overkill for the level of dress I mentioned above for this wedding? Granted, the kilt itself will be out of place with this crowd (I'd be the only one wearing a kilt, with most guests never having been around a kilt), so I don't expect any of them to know 'the rules' on kilt-wearing. But if I do attend the wedding kilted, I'll be standing out from the crowd already, so I don't want to overdo it even more by going super formal.

2. Is it even appropriate for a civilian to wear a military mess jacket? I'll try to take pics tonight if I get a chance, but this is a plain black mess jacket with silver buttons that have a small emblem on them (the buttons are not overly shiny, and don't look like they were meant to be). The jacket has small black loops on the shoulders for a shoulder-board that I would obviously not be using. The sleeves have a narrow black band near the cuff, but are otherwise plain. In other words, this jacket has no adornment. It's just a black mess jacket with 6 buttons on the front (3 on each side) and a double-button piece in the middle with a short chain. Pardon my not knowing all the terminology.

3. Assuming this jacket would not make me look like a civilian trying to pull off a military impersonation, what would be acceptable to wear as a shirt and tie? I seem to only see these worn with a tuxedo-style shirt and bowtie. Are they ever worn with a standard collar and necktie? Note: a ruche tie is not something I'll be putting around my neck, thank you very much. If I have to, I can probably afford an inexpensive tux shirt and black bowtie, but I'd rather not, since it would possibly be overkill on the formality scale for this wedding (though it might be nice to have for future purposes if I need it). But I'd like to see if there are other precedents on shirt/tie combinations that can be worn with it.

4. What would be appropriate kilt-related accessories to wear? I'd be wearing my 8-yard Colquhoun heavy wool 'tank', and probably my matching Argyll hose, dress sgian dubh, and polished black brogues. I do not own any fancy 'dress' sporrans. I do not own any sporrans with metal cantles or fur. It would either be a standard small black leather daywear sporran or my horse hair sporran (black leather flap, not a metal cantle). Would these be entirely inappropriate with this jacket?

My concern is that I'll be overdressed if I wear this jacket. But if there's a way to dress-down a mess jacket, that's what I'm looking for. And if I do, I have to make it work with the accessories I have.

So what do you think? Can it work, or should I reserve the wearing of mess jackets for truly formal events?