Woman Laugh but Men are Arrested

[IrishRebel79]

So to add to the thread, the second time I wore my kilt (the first was to a parade and it was 30F outside, so no questions got asked) was to a very merry un-wedding on St. Patrick's Day in Boston (long story). Anywho, the first person to ask was (I found out later) a late 50's lesbian as I returned from the bar. As I walked past her table, she said "Excuse me, but I have to ask, what's under your kilt?" I replied without missing a beat, "the Loch Ness Monster". Surprisingly, she and her entire table of patrons thought that was utterly hysterical, so I continued on back to my table and rejoined my wife. A little while later, the groom's mother, who happened to be in her mid 80's was hobbling about, literally pinched me on the @$$ and said, "Excuse me young man, what's under the kilt?" Again I replied, "the Loch Ness Monster". She too thought it was hilarious as she hobbled back up to the bar (gotta love grandma at an Irish wedding). Fast foward about an hour and a half later and I'm returning to the bar, and these two gals from the table with the lesbian jumped up, threw their arms around me, and said, "We just HAVE to have our picture taken with the Loch Ness Monster!" Only being 3/4 of a fifth of Jameson's deep, I felt it was an innocent enough request, because let's face it, what woman doesn't love a man in a kilt? So here I am with these two strange women with their arms around me having pictures taken. Come to find out, they're sisters! Here's where it gets weird... they ask me, "just how big IS the Loch Ness Monster?" Then they begin to tell me about each others sexual prowess, and make it clear in no uncertain terms that THEY (yes THEY) want to take me home for a night of fun. I look upwards to the Good Lord and think to myself, why couldn't this have happened when I was single?!?!?! Meanwhile, my wife is literally 20 feet away watching the entire thing unfold, but due to the music, can't hear anything that is being said. After I tell them that I'm married, they both look at me and ask, "Happily?" At that point, I decided it was best to just leave the situation and replied, "See that redhead over there? That's my wife. She's the only one that can tell how you how big the Loch Ness Monster is, and I assure you that she'll tell you that it's legendary. You ladies have a good evening." I return back to my wife and she asks what that was all about and I relayed the conversation to her. She's not one to get jealous very often (I can think of once in the past 12 years) and she was ready to tear those women limb from limb. So while not something to get arrested over, it makes for two morals of the story: One, all women love a man in a kilt. And two, hell hath no fury like a jealous wife...

Slainte!
-Rob