The olde sea Captain went down to the hiring hall in days of yore. A young man was behind the desk doing the hiring.

Sea Captain says he's most experienced and looking for a ship to sail.

Kid looks up at him and says, "You've got a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch" You're too stove up and damaged to captain a ship."

The Captain blusters a bit and protests saying how many years he has at sea and as a captain.

So the young guy asks, "If you're so good how'd you lose your leg." Captain says, "Sonny, I was captainin' a merchantman on Southern waters when pirates over took us. A cannon ball took my leg clean off in the fight but we pulled away and saved the cargo for the owners."

Okay says the youth, "Then how'd you lose your hand?" Ahhh says the Captain, "Twas pirates again lad. I was captain of another merchantman. This time they managed to board us and we had one heck of a fight. A pirate cut off my hand with his cutlass but I picked mine up and killed him. We fought them off that day and saved the cargo for the owners."

The youth is now more interested. "Okay, so how'd you lose your eye?"

Captain said, " I was checkin' the riggin and a sea gull pooped in it."

"How can sea gull poop make you lose your eye?"

"Ahhh lad, 'twas me first day with the hook."