I am bookmarking threads that n00bs really ought to avail themselves too, and this one is missing.

For someone new to kilts, please to collect here the elegant responses you have to the various comments you receive about being out and about in a kilt.

EG:

to the young man with his pants halfway down to his knees, the sneer and the "skirt" coment:

"Better men than you found a way to let the boys swing freely centuries ago." You'll have to be ready to bring it if you are going to sing it...

EG2:

Nothing is 'worn' under the kilt, everything is in perfect working order.

EG3:

Good girls don't ask and bad girls find out for themselves.

EG4:

"I have been to Scotland twice because I love the look of a man in a kilt."

Thank you, and may I say your hair looks lovely this evening? Or something. I am engaged so I had to take the high road on that one.

EG5:

One for your lady, should a random trollop scream an ethanol soaked compliment in your general direction:

"I too love a man in a kilt. This one is taken. Find your own."

and etcetera. I have some notecards taped to my door, but I can't legitimately take credit for any of them.

What have you delivered (riverkilt cough cough) and what do you have on standby for the right opportunity?