Forrest Gump Dies And Goes To heaven

**davidlpope** · 27th July 11, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by Frank McGrath

There's a bathroom on the right.......

Big ol' jet's got a light on...

**Dale Seago** · 27th July 11, 06:29 PM

I'm still wiping my eyes and blowing my nose. I was looking through some lists of mondegreens online, and I think the one that initially set me off was the Biblical aphorism that "A soft dancer turneth away wrath".

Then my African Grey parrot wanted to join in the fun just as I began to recover, and her laughter (combining a wide variety of human and TV-cartoon "styes" with some genuine creativity of her own) set me off again. We've been bouncing off each other for 20 minutes.

**Dale Seago** · 27th July 11, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by Dale Seago

Then my African Grey parrot wanted to join in the fun just as I began to recover, and her laughter (combining a wide variety of human and TV-cartoon "styes" with some genuine creativity of her own) set me off again. We've been bouncing off each other for 20 minutes.

[off topic] Here's my little girl enjoying her TV shows. She's in the same cognitive range as about a 5-year-old human child; just turned 17 years old last month and has been with me since she was about 3 months old.

[/off topic]

**Jerry** · 28th July 11, 04:40 AM

One of my favorites comes from a friend and former co-worker who is a little hard of hearing. It was a cold Wintery day with a steady drizzle falling. Needless to say the roads were extremely slick with "black ice". My co-worker had been listening to the radio on his drive into work and heard a weather advisory on the radio warning people of the icy conditions. But what he heard was, "Watch out for Black Guys on the road".

**piperdbh** · 28th July 11, 05:01 AM

My former neighbors are both of a certain age and don't hear as well as they used to. Their grown children find it excruciatingly funny to be in the middle of the house, with their parents at opposite ends of the house, trying to have a conversation with each other. One will ask a question, and the other will answer to what they think they heard, then the first will respond to that, and in about 3 interchanges none of it makes any sense.

**Kaw-Liga** · 28th July 11, 07:02 AM

I missed Number 3

Thought God's first name was HOWARD.

"Our Father who art in heaven, HOWARD be thy name ..."

Kaw-Liga

**CameronCat** · 28th July 11, 09:59 AM

...One will ask a question, and the other will answer to what they think they heard, then the first will respond to that, and in about 3 interchanges none of it makes any sense.

Which brings us to the three old gents in a railway carriage...

Gent 1: I say, what station is next?

Trainman: Wembley

Gent 2: No, it's Thursday

Gent 3: So am I. Let's have a drink!

**Mike_Oettle** · 2nd August 11, 01:52 PM

CameronCat wrote: “So am I. Let's have a drink!”

Can’t agree more!

**Ian.MacAllan** · 2nd August 11, 02:35 PM

Frank McCourt (Angela's Ashes) has a brother Malachy who has published a memoir titled A Monk Swimming. That title is a superb marketing ploy; it so intrigued me that I read the book to learn its meaning, and sure enough it proved to be a Mondegreen:

"Hail Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou a monk swimming . . ."

.