Sarong or So Wrong?

[Bugbear]

Sushi, I've seen some statements on the forum that lead me to consider that some people feel they will be associated with the groups you mention if someone from one of those groups is seen wearing a kilt. In other words, some people appear to feel that if someone is wearing a kilt and does not look "manly," then the general public will think all men wearing a kilt are "unmanly." It's bothered me in the back of my mind for a long time now.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I suspect what you are describing is somewhat tied to the perceptions of gender roles one implicitly learned as a child.

I can speak for the sub-culture I grew up in; manhood was partly defined by a tendency toward brutishness and violence, and this was often directed toward those who were perceived to be "unmanly." I am not only talking about adolescence; some male teachers were this way and encouraged this behavior with their own actions, or by looking the other way during bullying. I had several friends who would be violently punished by their fathers for losing a fight at school., and so on. Being thought of as "unmanly" evoked fear, or in my case isolation; I tried to stay away as best as I could.

Not sure if that will make much sense, but...

[CDNSushi]

It makes sense. And it's just unfortunate that traditional masculinity has become to be defined in those terms.

Some recommended additional reading would be Masculinity Reconstructed: Changing the Rules of Manhood-- At Work, in Relationships, and in Family Life, by Dr. Ronald F. Levant. He defines it well, in that the western concept of masculinity encompasses: "avoidance of femininity; restricted emotions; sex disconnected from intimacy; pursuit of achievement and status; self-reliance; strength and aggression; and homophobia."

If more men could only break free of such misguided notions: "Real men don't cry." "Real men don't wear skirts." "Real men don't <insert perceived non-masculine behaviour here>."