A story of Kilted Attention or: Why I can't go commando!

**flyingshamrock** · 8th March 12, 04:50 AM

Originally Posted by Alan H

Man oh man, that's a long post.

Alan, very well said!!! Not about it being a long post but what your long post said. I couldn't agree more. You definitely can't judge a book by it's cover!

**tundramanq** · 8th March 12, 05:24 AM

A little OT, but the wind is howling here at 43 gusts to 53 MPH. If I go outside, I would be giving free kilt checks. Dreaded underwear time here. P**ts just arent an option. -

**Four** · 8th March 12, 05:27 AM

Originally Posted by rondo

To the OP...was any of this discussion helpful in finding ways to deal with the unwanted attention? Obviously the responses ran the gamut from call the cops and file charges to just blow it off. Its a shame you had to leave the concert but perhaps that was the best course of action.
Rondo

It has helped. I enjoy being able to relate to people about things that really aren't all that normal, obviously being kilted isn't something most people do, which is why we get abnormal responses when doing so. But its good to know im not alone.

That being said I didn't have to much of a problem with it personally, i was a mostly flattered. That being said it made my wife very uncomfortable, understandably so, and i wish I wasn't put in THAT situation (the irate wife situation)

**M. A. C. Newsome** · 8th March 12, 05:31 AM

Post deleted, as it was a reply to Alan's now deleted post.

**Four** · 8th March 12, 05:31 AM

As it's been said before, depending on the place and or situation, being more or less formal is appropriate. Sometimes its hard to tell, sometimes its not.

**davedove** · 8th March 12, 05:50 AM

I'm more with Matt on this one, but I see Alan's point as well. The main difference with Alan though, is these are people he knows. with whom he is quite close. A person will put up with a lot from friends and probably give back as good as you get.

This all changes when when you're talking about strangers. For some reason, when a person wears a kilt, there are those who seem to think that the person is ready and asking to be subjected to public ridicule and demeaning actions. It's one thing for a young lady to ask a teasing question, something else entirely when some crass individual believes its his right to lift the back of your kilt so the whole world can see.

A big part of it is a lack of personal barriers and filters, which of course is exaggerated by alcohol. With close friends you can get away with a lot, because you know the persons limits and acceptance levels. Too many assume that level of closeness when they have no right to do so.

**Tobus** · 8th March 12, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by davedove

I'm more with Matt on this one, but I see Alan's point as well. The main difference with Alan though, is these are people he knows. with whom he is quite close. A person will put up with a lot from friends and probably give back as good as you get.

This all changes when when you're talking about strangers.

You took the words right out of my mouth. We all will put up with shenanigans from friends and comrades that we should not have to put up with from rude strangers. That changes the dynamics completely.

**Father Bill** · 8th March 12, 06:12 AM

You know . . . I LOVE the kind of people Alan describes. They're the ones who make ministry fun!

But I have to agree with Matt on this part: I'm sorry to think that anyone, male or female would get used to the idea of unsolicited attention to the point that it becomes a joke, or that they have to pretend that it is.

Let's be careful that our different social orbits don't become the cause of personal attacks. We may be getting close to the rule violation that wasn't found last time.

All of this becomes very similar to the growly criticisms of the moderators and the process that were posted in another (now closed) thread about the temporary closure of this one. Let's take it easy, folks.

Alan, I'd love to hoist a few with your friends, and yes I'd wear my collar and still laugh at their jokes. I really would. But I would hope that none of them is ever hurt and have to brush it off under the umbrella of humour either consciously or automatically, either emotionally or physically, by someone who goes too far, and Matt's right to imply that the rules of social conduct are set up specifically to prevent hurt...

...as are the rules of this forum.

Chill, folks, and have one for me!

Bill+

**tundramanq** · 8th March 12, 06:13 AM

NOTE TO GUYS WHO ARE THINKING OF GOING KILTING - these instances are very rare in the normal everyday public world. This has been my experiance. In over 2 years of abandoning pants, things have never gotten physical, and I have only dealt with rudeness twice - alcohol was involved.
Don't let this string put you off of the idea of kilting. For practical, physical and fashion reasons, kilts are the best!
This string has great information and perspectives gained from centuries of combined kilt time here.

**artificer** · 8th March 12, 06:17 AM

Alan's whole premise hinges on Friends, which simply aren't the same as strangers.

My friends and I treat each other in ways that would get us punched in the face if we were to do it to strangers. There is a bond and familiarity which is lacking in stranger interaction that allows for "brotherly" harassment.
To say that a friend pinching your bottom is the same as a complete stranger sticking their hand up your kilt is, at best, silly.

You might as well extend the ridiculous metaphor to say that the rules of behaviour you and your spouse are comfortable with (in private) are the same as the ones between strangers and yourself.
See where THAT will land you.

It's a matter of (earned) respect, familiarity, and boundaries. Strangers don't have any of the first two, so should respect the third.

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