gut bigger than hips.

[Alan H]

I have a thought for very overweight guys with a gut. Don't use sporran straps. Instead, hang your sporran from your kilt belt using "sporran hangers". My observation is that the hangers allow the sporran to hang straight down below the belt buckle, and let the aprons of the kilt fall freely below that. Sporran straps pull the aprons in, creating a huge fold/crease/dent in them that accentuates the gut. I suppose that if your belt won't stay in place, then this might not be a good solution, but maybe worth a try?

I really like the "I'm Fat. Let's Party." t-shirt. Just say it. I hate this mumbo-jumbo beating around the bush of "gentleman of substance". If you're fat, then you're fat. Using silly phrases isn't going to change the fact of it.

Look, I'm bald. BALD. I just say so, I don't try to get silly with terms like "follicly-challenged gentleman" or something. If you're fat, then you're fat, just like I'm bald. It's not like it's a condemnation of your character, it's not like saying that you're mentally inept, it's not a judgement call on your value as a human being, it's just a physical fact of your body.