What to wear to a friend's wedding?

**hylander** · 16th July 15, 06:41 AM

Something to consider since you did not mention it in your post. Will anyone in the wedding party be kilted? If not you might reconsider going kilted. No bride likes to be upstaged and if you are the only one there kilted you, there is the danger of making one or more of the main participants upset. Someone else's wedding may not be the best venue to make your kilt debut. I'm speaking from a USA point of view, but if you are determined to make this your debut, you might want to ask someone who represents the brides perspective in the wedding party their opinion of you kilt plans. The reason you can't get your friends to commit to how formal the wedding will be may be because they don't know how to tell you nix on the kilt. Did you even mention to them you are considering wearing the kilt? Some may disagree with this advice, but to repeat the main point these weddings are not your days to shine. If you think I am wrong by all means go kilted, but don't be surprised if you get some cold shoulders and nasty glares. It might make for a less than positive kilt debut experience.

**Wareyin** · 16th July 15, 06:57 AM

Originally Posted by hylander

Something to consider since you did not mention it in your post. Will anyone in the wedding party be kilted? If not you might reconsider going kilted. No bride likes to be upstaged and if you are the only one there kilted you, there is the danger of making one or more of the main participants upset. Someone else's wedding may not be the best venue to make your kilt debut. I'm speaking from a USA point of view, but if you are determined to make this your debut, you might want to ask someone who represents the brides perspective in the wedding party their opinion of you kilt plans. The reason you can't get your friends to commit to how formal the wedding will be may be because they don't know how to tell you nix on the kilt. Did you even mention to them you are considering wearing the kilt? Some may disagree with this advice, but to repeat the main point these weddings are not your days to shine. If you think I am wrong by all means go kilted, but don't be surprised if you get some cold shoulders and nasty glares. It might make for a less than positive kilt debut experience.

I understand your concerns, however I think they do not apply in this case. For one wedding, the groom is the only one I know, and, even though his is the wedding in the more formal place (the Fox Theatre in Atlanta), he swears he is wearing shorts. Knowing his sense of humor, as well as many of his guests, I doubt he will have an issue. The bride is from out of the country, so we have never met.

In the second case, the couple loves the idea of my going kilted, they just have not settled on a venue.

**unixken** · 16th July 15, 08:31 AM

I too, will be attending a wedding, in September. I concur that you may wish to ask the brides and grooms if they'd like you to wear the kilt. Particularly if you don't know the bride. It's bad form to outshine her, and you don't want to be a cause of scorn from her mother or family, etc.

In my particular instance, the bride asked me "which kilt are you wearing?" (She owns a sheep farm and holds numerous events open to the public throughout the year, and I always wear a kilt when I help out, so she knows what to expect of me, kilted.) Her wedding will be held in the new barn on her sheep farm. No formalwear will be expected to march through the potentially muddy environs of a sheep farm. ;)

I'll be wearing my new Matt Newsome box-pleat "Buchanan Old Sett", in ancient colors, with either a simple tattersall shirt with tie, with or without charcoal argyl jacket if it's warm... or a sweater/jumper, if it's chilly. I have a brown full-mask muskrat sporran that works for all occasions, that I'll wear, as well.

**ctbuchanan** · 16th July 15, 08:43 AM

Reading Ken's post I should mention also now that many of our friends have seen me kilted at other weddings they now ask me in advance "You'll wear your kilt won't you?"

**Wareyin** · 16th July 15, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by unixken

I too, will be attending a wedding, in September. I concur that you may wish to ask the brides and grooms if they'd like you to wear the kilt. Particularly if you don't know the bride. It's bad form to outshine her, and you don't want to be a cause of scorn from her mother or family, etc.

In my particular instance, the bride asked me "which kilt are you wearing?" (She owns a sheep farm and holds numerous events open to the public throughout the year, and I always wear a kilt when I help out, so she knows what to expect of me, kilted.) Her wedding will be held in the new barn on her sheep farm. No formalwear will be expected to march through the potentially muddy environs of a sheep farm. ;)

I'll be wearing my new Matt Newsome box-pleat "Buchanan Old Sett", in ancient colors, with either a simple tattersall shirt with tie, with or without charcoal argyl jacket if it's warm... or a sweater/jumper, if it's chilly. I have a brown full-mask muskrat sporran that works for all occasions, that I'll wear, as well.

I am of the opinion that it won't be possible to outshine the bride if it's formal. Who could think that a kilt was more spectacular than a bridal dress?

**Liam** · 16th July 15, 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by Wareyin

I am of the opinion that it won't be possible to outshine the bride if it's formal. Who could think that a kilt was more spectacular than a bridal dress?

I totally agree with you on this one. I have worn my kilt to numerous weddings and have never thought the need to ask permission, although most of my friends and relatives are aware that I wear it most of the time.

**Thekiltedmohawk** · 17th July 15, 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by Liam

I totally agree with you on this one. I have worn my kilt to numerous weddings and have never thought the need to ask permission, although most of my friends and relatives are aware that I wear it most of the time.

You are lucky about that. My future sister in the law knew I'm a full-time kilt wearer. Yet, I'm banned from wearing my kilt to my brother's wedding. Guess she have no Scottish blood in her.

**Wareyin** · 17th July 15, 02:15 AM

I have been told to wear a kilt by both wedding parties, now. Unfortunately, as I tried to order a jacket, I discovered that we just started a week long Islamic holiday. They return on the 22nd, leaving. 3 weeks to complete my jacket and ship it overseas to me. I am quite concerned that the jacket will not arrive in time.

I may rent a jacket, or perhaps find a vest/waistcoat only from somewhere.

**Liam** · 17th July 15, 05:13 AM

Originally Posted by JDuPree

You are lucky about that. My future sister in the law knew I'm a full-time kilt wearer. Yet, I'm banned from wearing my kilt to my brother's wedding. Guess she have no Scottish blood in her.

I don't want to influence your future relationship with either your brother or future sister-in-law.
A number of years ago my brothers, our children and I had a special weave of our family tartan and had 11 kilts in all made. We also had a few ties made. My twin brother's new wife has never let him wear his new kilt, if fact the last time I saw it a couple of years ago it still had the basting stitches in it. I have seen him wear the tie. They live some distance away, but when we get together, I make sure I am kilted, because I know how much she likes them. Did I wear it to their wedding, no, I wasn't invited (nor was the rest of the family).
All this being said, I would advise keeping the peace at the wedding.

**ctbuchanan** · 16th July 15, 07:03 AM

I wear my kilt to weddings all the time so here are a few thoughts:

I agree that you should check with the bride first and if you are going to the wedding I assume you know her or the groom. I have never had one turn me down and most are enthusiastic as it adds a nice twist to the wedding, but do ask first.

I don't quite agree with the comments on the Argyll jacket. I have a black one and wear it as my formal wear - in Scotland it might not pass muster but here in the States I would be surprised if anyone you meet outside of a kilted group would notice in the least. I find it to be very versatile. But a nice tweed would work as well except if black tie is requested.

I have several sporrans for day wear but needed one to go with the Argyll. I settled on a black sting ray skin by Wyvern which I can use day or night. Although technically not formal I again fall back on the fact that literally no one knows that and I don't want to lay out the funds for a horse hair etc.

Enjoy wearing the kilt.