Wedding Attire

[PiobBear]

I was thinking the BP, a vest/waistcoat, a rustic, Jacobite style shirt, bonnet, and nice hose with either low cut mocs or ghillies....the reception is at a pretty "pinky-up" place (as my brother would describe). So I'm getting a custom vest made...and if I can scrounge some money I'm gonna' try to get either a new kilt (with a plaid) or pick up a plaid for my Irish National kilt...Is there a specific style of vest I should get?

You don't need a vest, new kilt, or fly plaid; you need a jacket (Argyll), a dress shirt, a tie, and a presentable pair of dress shoes, like black wingtips; the Highland equivalent of what the other gentlemen in attendance will be wearing.

No Jacobite shirts or moccasins.

[berserkbishop]

You don't need a vest, new kilt, or fly plaid; you need a jacket (Argyll), a dress shirt, a tie, and a presentable pair of dress shoes, like black wingtips; the Highland equivalent of what the other gentlemen in attendance will be wearing.

No Jacobite shirts or moccasins.

Ok, we are going over the edge here. I dont know where you grew up, but the last funeral I went to in my hometown I was the only one in a suit. Most everyone, including the family was in jeans. I kept getting asked if I worked at the funeral home. The same goes for most weddings as well. You have to dress to the occasion. Here in the podunk towns of the midwest a dress shirt and tie are more than appropriate for a guest who is merely spectating. I would prefer to wear a suit, but I hate out dressing the groom. I suspect Yeti maybe in the same sort of situation as far as region and dress code. No disrespect, just another point of view.

BB

[Kilted in Maine]

Ok, we are going over the edge here. I dont know where you grew up, but the last funeral I went to in my hometown I was the only one in a suit. Most everyone, including the family was in jeans. I kept getting asked if I worked at the funeral home. The same goes for most weddings as well. You have to dress to the occasion. Here in the podunk towns of the midwest a dress shirt and tie are more than appropriate for a guest who is merely spectating. I would prefer to wear a suit, but I hate out dressing the groom. I suspect Yeti maybe in the same sort of situation as far as region and dress code. No disrespect, just another point of view.

BB

I agree and was thinking the same thing.

I have been to both "black-tie" and "bathing suit" wedding receptions as well as everything in between.

These days, the "Emily Post" standards are thrown out the window.

The formaility, or informatilty, of the function should be considered when choosing what level of "highland dress" to wear.

Yeti, what do you anticipate the other guests to be wearing?

[Brian F]

I suspect Yeti maybe in the same sort of situation as far as region and dress code. No disrespect, just another point of view.

BB

Hit it on the nose BB. The weddings will be in Illinois and Indiana. The Mid West just seems to be a more "informal" place nowadays. The only people you see in suits are the old men who were raised in that scenario. Most folks my age wear jeans and a polo/button down, and think that's enough. I've always enjoyed dressing up, but like BB, don't want to outdress the groom.

One of my friends recently got married down in Harlan, KY, and he only wore dress pants, white button-down (with rolled up sleeves), and a tie. And he was the groom. So a kilt and jacket would've been far overdressed (Had I been able to go, I was going to wear a kilt and a button down, no tie).

As for the BP idea, I think I already said, I'm opting for a vest, shirt, and tie, as well as my Irish National kilt. I suspect one of the weddings to be a little more formal, and the other I've been told by the bride not to go unbifurcated until the reception.

Thanks again though for everyone's opinions and input.

~Yeti

[PiobBear]

I dont know where you grew up, but the last funeral I went to in my hometown I was the only one in a suit.

Where I grew up (Athens, Georgia), a gentleman never attended church, a wedding, or a funeral without a jacket & tie from the time they were old enough to stand up.

I attended a funeral yesterday for a friend, with the graveside service this morning. Virtually every male was in a jacket & tie, including many of us in kilts, pretty much as I described above. There were about four or five (out of maybe 200 or so) in T-shirts and blue jeans, who went up as a group to eulogize their former Scout master, as it turned out. A woman standing next to me leaned over and whispered, "Of all the things the Boy Scouts taught those young men, it's a pity they never taught them to dress appropriately."

[macwilkin]

The Mid West just seems to be a more "informal" place nowadays. The only people you see in suits are the old men who were raised in that scenario. Most folks my age wear jeans and a polo/button down, and think that's enough. I've always enjoyed dressing up, but like BB, don't want to outdress the groom.

Now, I wouldn't say that so quickly...I know a number of "young'uns" in our St. Andrew's Society here in the Midwest who wear suits/blazers etc. to various functions, myself included.

T.

[davedove]

Now, I wouldn't say that so quickly...I know a number of "young'uns" in our St. Andrew's Society here in the Midwest who wear suits/blazers etc. to various functions, myself included.

T.

That may be true Todd, but I'm sure you'll agree that for a lot of people "dressing up" means putting on the clean jeans. Growing up in southern Illinois, I even knew a few old farmers that would dress up by wearing a tie with their overalls.

[McMurdo]

I'm taking my mod hat off for this and will not comment in an official way on this thread henceforth.

I remember when there were no Casual Fridays at work, now it seems that Casual Fridays have invaded the rest of the week, as well as most people's general attitude. I for one have been waiting for the pendulum to swing back, however given the state of things I will not hold my breath.

I may be old fashioned but I think that if I am going to a wedding a funeral or other similar occasion then I dress for it, this means a polo shirt and jeans would not do it even when I wore jeans. As I see it, this comes down to a simple mater of respect for your host be they the couple getting married or the mourning family. I would not for example show up to a formal function wearing a Blue suit, before the kilt bug really bit I went out and bought a tuxedo to wear to formal functions. I also have a closet full of suits that I can wear to any number of events if I so choose and be dressed appropriately. That includes going to work I wore a suit to work for a good twenty years every day regardless of the weather and I think that for a function I owe the host nothing less.

To get back to the original poster, I'm glad you've decided to shy away from the Belted Plaid it to my mind does have it's place but that place is not a wedding. I realize that as a younger man you may not have the kind of wardrobe some of us do, however we were all in your place at one time or another. If it were me I'd go out and get the best Argyll Jacket I could, you really can find some good prices out there if you look. If it were me I might go with a look like this


or this


or something like this


You would of course look like you belonged at the wedding and would not stand out as you would in a belted plaid and you would be showing respect to your hosts by not making a mockery of their day.

[davedove]

I like those looks Glen, but in a lot of places you would still stand out as being over dressed, even at a wedding. To me, showing up dressed obviously better than everyone else also shows some disrespect, even if you think it ought to be appropriate. Others could feel you were trying to show yourself as better than them. It's a sad but true situation. Like you said, maybe the pendulum will swing back the other way some day.

I went to a wedding a couple of years back and wore a sport jacket and tie. I was still dressed better than 90% of the people there. Mostly it was slacks and a few ties, but there were also many t-shirts. And this was a wedding in a church with the weddings party in tuxedos.

My thought is to dress well, but not so well that you stand out from everyone else. That's the bride's and maybe the groom's job.

[Panache]

If you already have a presentable kilt, hose, flashes, and sporran, and I'm going to assume you have a dress shirt and a tie, all you need is a jacket.

Glen showed us a wonderful series of great attire for a wedding guest the only thing you need to follow in his footsteps is a jacket. Check out your thrift stores for a tweed one. Or perhaps look at sport coats at Target (there seem to be quite a few on Clearance at this time).

A tailor / Seamstress should be able to fashion a sporran cut away and make your coat a kilt jacket for about $40.

If you have a little good luck you might find a matching jacket and vest for an even better look.

Check out some of my beloved F-H.C.A.G.' s threads on jacket and vest conversions to give you an idea of what you are shooting for.

Cheers

Jamie