Lost in Translation--US vs UK English words

[English Bloke]

On the understatement theme.

UK. A bit of on accident.
The rest of the world. The Titanic hit an iceberg.

UK.A spot of bother.
The rest of the world. The whole Zulu nation has taken up arms.

UK.I am not feeling too well.
The rest of the world. I am dying and in a lot of pain.

UK. Things are a bit tricky.
The rest of the world. My parachute has failed to open and I have 500ft to go.

UK. I am not too good at this.
The rest of the world. I am the world champion.

UK.I should'nt worry old chap.
The rest of the world. The world is about to end.

UK. It hurts a bit.
The rest of the world.I have just lost my leg in a shark attack.

Absolutely the best laugh of the day Jock!!

[james a. husky]

I'm still getting use to the unusual (for the internet anyway) level of civility here, so please forgive me if I transgress...

In high school, a lovely sloe-eyed, long-haired young lady from Bath (Jennie Thornton was her name...(she was attending school here in the states) asked me to "knock her up"... It was a split second before I was able (in my mind) to translate that into: "Drop by the house sometime"!

Later in life, a delightful ex-patriate who had lived in England for 18 years replied (when I asked if she wanted me to "lock the door") "Yes, lock the door"... When she wanted to get back in for her keys, we each realized the difference between "lock the door" in Cambridge and "lock the door in Jupiter, Fl.!!! I redeemed myself by extracting an air conditioner from a garage wall and dropping headfirst into a pile of laundry, whereafter I opened the front door and let her in!!! Diane was graciousness and femininity extrodinaire!

There have been others (I seem to gravitate to "Mad 'Bu'rd' Flu"), but I can't think of them (or they've been confusions of "naughty" terms).

Jim aka kiltiemon (Brits and Americans... Two peoples separated by a common language)