On changing one's name

[thescot]

I guess I am the lone dissenter.

I would advise against it. I don't think it's a good idea unless you want to disappear, like the aforementioned Legionaires.

You may "divorce" your father, but you will still be who you are and his heir. A name change will not change any of that, and I will not go into other reasons. I would just advise against it.

[lethearen]

... you will still be who you are and his heir. A name change will not change any of that ...

When a boy is adopted, he usually takes the name of his new family. It doesn't change who he is or who his father was, but it helps him become part of that family more readily. You may not have been 'adopted' per se, but your mother and her family raised you; I see no reason why you should have any reservations about it, if you want to change. Changing your name may not change who you are... but your name doesn't make you who you are, at least not these days.

I had a similar circumstance. My parents got divorced when I was young. My father was never really there before the separation, and that didn't really change until my late teens... by then it was too little too late. In my eye, there is very little about him that deserves my respect. To me, he illustrates what my life has become in spite of my lineage instead of because of my lineage.

I had decided back then that as soon as I turned 18 I was going to change my name - both first and last, as I was named after him in both regards. Like you, my mother had raised me, and that side of the family in general was one that I felt more desire to respect. I was going to drop my first name and go by my middle (named after my mother's uncle) and take my mother's maiden name. I never did... but it's something I still toy with in the back of my head. For me, at this point, it's just not worth the effort.

These days, I go by a ficticious "given" name I picked up in high school - perhaps I should call it a "taken" name . There are people I work closely with who don't know what my legal first name actually is. I keep my father's surname, not in homage, but again, because it's not worth it to me to change it. I don't feel passionately enough about it any more to actually bother with it.

But if you do feel that passionately... then by all means, honour your mother's family, and honour yourself. Just remember the heck you're going to cause your great great grandchildren when they decide to build a family tree