Humorous comebacks and snappy retorts here please

[AKScott]

I am bookmarking threads that n00bs really ought to avail themselves too, and this one is missing.

For someone new to kilts, please to collect here the elegant responses you have to the various comments you receive about being out and about in a kilt.

EG:

to the young man with his pants halfway down to his knees, the sneer and the "skirt" coment:

"Better men than you found a way to let the boys swing freely centuries ago." You'll have to be ready to bring it if you are going to sing it...

EG2:

Nothing is 'worn' under the kilt, everything is in perfect working order.

EG3:

Good girls don't ask and bad girls find out for themselves.

EG4:

"I have been to Scotland twice because I love the look of a man in a kilt."

Thank you, and may I say your hair looks lovely this evening? Or something. I am engaged so I had to take the high road on that one.

EG5:

One for your lady, should a random trollop scream an ethanol soaked compliment in your general direction:

"I too love a man in a kilt. This one is taken. Find your own."

and etcetera. I have some notecards taped to my door, but I can't legitimately take credit for any of them.

What have you delivered (riverkilt cough cough) and what do you have on standby for the right opportunity?

[Beertigger]

"If you were enough of a woman to find out, you'd be too much of a lady to ask."

[Mike M.]

I can't take credit for this, but...

"What a Scotsman wears under, wears well."

[Joshua]

My personal favorite and used often... Courtesy of Robert (RKilts) if I remember correctly...


questioning female "what are you wearing under that thing?"

retort "Can you keep a secret?"

questioning female nods...

zinger "So can I."

[Piper]

My most frequent reply when asked what I'm wearing under the kilt is: "That depends upon the occasion, the company, and the ambient temperature. Not necessarily in that order.".

[cruiser348]

Question: "Why are you wearing that?"

Answer:"Because if I took it off someone might be offended."

Don't recall reading it on here before but as a noob myself I'm sure someone here has uttered it before.

[Cowher]

I have to take the one from River kilt...

Q:So what are you wearing under there?!?

A: a elegant p*nis of course!

I LOVE that one!!!

[The Thirsty Viking]

My responses are sometimes not appropriate for all audiences, but if anyone wants to know my favorite, utilize the PM function

[Duke of Delrio]

My usual response is not that snappy, but I mean it when I say it. It goes, "If you will forgive me for not answering, I will forgive you for having asked."

[Woodsman]

I am bookmarking threads that n00bs really ought to avail themselves too, and this one is missing.

EG3:

Good girls don't ask and bad girls find out for themselves.

I really like this one. But I was wondering what the response is by the inquisitive female. Sounds like an open invitation.