Humorous comebacks and snappy retorts here please

[Derek]

A while back now at a party, I was asked why I was wearing a cilt/kilt, to which I simply replied, 'Because I am interested in Astronomy'.
There was a slight silence before normal service resumed.
Iechyd Da
Derek

[kiltimabar]

EG3:

Good girls don't ask and bad girls find out for themselves.

You better be prepared to follow through on this one in the event she takes this as an invitation!

[Nighthawk]

You better be prepared to follow through on this one in the event she takes this as an invitation!

I have my Rob Halford inspired man-god pose for just such an occasion.

So- I was asked that question once in a local metal bar. I told the guy "Your girlfriends panties- she left them on my floor last night." I then looked at his girlfriend and asked "You want 'em back, sweetheart?" The guy flushed red and stood up. His girl laughed, put her arm on his, and said "You had that coming."

[cruiser348]

I finally had the chance to use one today which I read on here some time back, unfortunately I don't remember who originally posted it. If whomever first posted it reads this I thank you for an excellent reply.

From person walking around store wearing pajama pants:
"Nice skirt!"

Response:
"At least I had the decency to get dressed before I left the house"

[Nighthawk]

I finally had the chance to use one today which I read on here some time back, unfortunately I don't remember who originally posted it. If whomever first posted it reads this I thank you for an excellent reply.

From person walking around store wearing pajama pants:
"Nice skirt!"

Response:
"At least I had the decency to get dressed before I left the house"

That would be me... I got the skirt comment from some genius in a Wal Mart wearing her jammies and slippers.

[Tapper]

She: "Are you Scottish?"
Me: "Nope. Just comfortable."

[Woodsheal]

Idiotic guy: "Nice skirt!"

Me: "Nice jeans! My wife has a pair just like 'em."

Even more obnoxious idiot: "Nice skirt!"

Me: "You're either ignorant or rude. Which is it?"

[butch]

One that I just recently came up with has stopped a number of people in mid thought.
"Why the kilt?"or "Why the skirt?"
Me "I'm allergic to denim!" One can see the little grey cell collaping into utter "dumfoundment"
Or "Why the kilt?" reply "Why not"
On vacation last year one fellow ask "Why the kilt?" My reply "I don't think the townspeople want me to be walking around in my underwear" His reply was PRICELESS "Oh yeah, I guess not"

"It sure is fun to warp someones sensibilities"

[Old Hippie]

About a year ago I was helping set up a lecture room for the local gardeners' seed-exchange and teaching session. (By which I mean: progressive, kilt-friendly crowd, even for Canadians who are more kilt-friendly as a rule.)

A woman, clearly searching for the correct word, said, "Nice...ummm...SKIRT you're wearing." Her friend immediately corrected her and apologized profusely.

To which I replied, "Not to worry. If I were wearing anything under it, it WOULD be a skirt."

I am quite fortunate in where I live. Aside from getting the odd wolf-whistle from a cowboy, people here are used to kilts and don't find them surprising or upsetting in just about any social or public situation.

:ootd:

[Calico]

I wasn't prepared for the statement when it came. At the Steampunk convention this past weekend, there were three kilt wearers, two in tartan (one of those being me) and one in leather.

So the one in leather walks up to me, looks at my kilt, and conspiratorially says: "that looks so gay!".

I just busted out laughing. Wasn't expecting that from him at all. Apparently it was the correct response, too.