When I post here on XMTS

[Amoskeag]

Firstly, I would commend the moderators. They seem to be fearless as well as very fair. The members of this board also tend to be open and accommodating. This is a huge "slice of life" here with people of all walks of life, from all over the world, all different races and nationalities. The kilt, a very classy garment, is the common agent here and as such evidences some very classy people. Folks here tend to be honest and that is a rare commodity on the internet. I'll probably never really understand why there are people who actually like to fight, argue, or generally be contentious on forums. It is some kind of sport to them and it bothers me that they can be so mean spirited. I was taught as a child that that kind of behavior was to be avoided. That kind of competitiveness does not exist here and I'm very glad of it.

I like the reference to the kids. My children,11 and 13, read here and I post with that in mind as well. The fact that the clergy is well represented also keeps me honest(Thanks for doing that folks!) It is out of respect for everyone here that I really try to apply The Golden Rule before I hit the submit button. If I have goofed (very possible) and posted something untoward, it was never meant to be as such and I apologize.

This place really is a haven from what Stephen Foster referred to in the song Beautiful Dreamer as "Sounds of the rude world" and maybe I'm a little selfish in wanting that to continue. I don't mind leaving a good chunk of myself at the door. Most times it's probably a part that I could live nicely without.
Alright, enough of the Mutual Admiration Society, back to kilts,
Bob

[Mike1]

A community is made of it's members. Make them "leave themselves at the door" too much and the members just stop going.

That's not a criticism, just a fact.

I wouldn't disagree with what you've stated. However, the actual fact is you failed to read the entire comment that Panache quoted. Allow me to repeat it, as it bears consideration -

Rex Tremende made a wise comment once about how the price we pay to be part of this great place is that we sometimes have to leave a part of ourselves at the door.

So you see, at no time did anyone say, or suggest that members must 'leave themselves at the door', as you suggested. Rather members should have the ability to leave a part of themselves at the door.

Suddenly, it all makes great sense, doesn't it?

[M. A. C. Newsome]

And that "part of ourselves" is only anything we might say that would offend our daughters, grandmothers, etc. And I say that is a part well left behind. We all do (or should do) this kind of self-censoring every day in polite society. And that's what we see for the most part here on XMTS, a polite society.

I had the displeasure of visiting a folk music forum the other day looking for some information on a particular song, and to read the vile and vitriol being spewed was like verbal heartburn. And it was a moderated forum!

A few years ago I worked out a mutual deal with Hank that involved us putting a permanant link to the XMTS forum from the museum's web page. If I am going to reccomend this forum to our museum patrons and visitors, then it absolutely has to be a family friendly forum. I don't want to see any content that I would be embarassed or ashamed to share with my daughter or my mother, for instance.

Three years later, I still have the link up there. That says something!

M

[McMurdo]

Well said Jamie
I will relate a wee story that speaks to this if I may. In October of last year I felt that one of the other members was attacking my views. To make a long story short as I was writing up a viscous reply/tirade then the phone rang, it was my father was on the line. He told me that my Uncle Murdy had passed away, needless to say I hit the delete button and did not go back to the topic. To me it just was not worth it in the grand scheme of things.

Another thought that has come to me while writing this up is that I am proud of the forum, it's members and mods, if the posts were offensive or questionable at best, I would not recommend this site to anyone. As it is I have absolutely no qualms about saying check out xmarks.

[davedove]

I'll have to agree with the Jaime's post.

In too much of today's society, especially on the internet, people just spout off anything without thinking of what they are saying.

Some people have the opinion that they should be able to say anything they like anywhere they want. While I can respect that point of view, I believe that there is a time and place for everything. There are rules to this forum and if you can't follow them, this forum is probably not for you.

I fully believe in free speech. In fact, since it is a part of the Constitution of the US, I took an oath to defend that right. However, I also believe in self censorship. As others have said here, there have been many times I started to reply to a thread only to delete it, because I felt it was inappropriate.

[Jock Scot]

If we were not ladies and gentlemen on this forum,I would not be here!

[McClef]

Beautifully put Jamie.

[Dirk Skene]

You are right on the mark Jamie

[Panache]

True, but lets not forget the flip side shall we?

A community is made of it's members. Make them "leave themselves at the door" too much and the members just stop going.

That's not a criticism, just a fact.

Yaish,

There have been some times when I really wanted to discuss something with another member here but the subject matter skirted our forum rules or I felt that it would open up a can of worms if posted on the open forum. So instead I have used the PM feature and as a result I have had some very interesting and informative interactions with some neat people.

Case in point: I was going to attend a Christening and needed advice about whether to wear a sgian dubh or not. If this question was posted on the forum I thought for sure it would lead to some argument about concealed weapons and weapon laws. So I asked this of another member who I know to be well versed in not only kilts but the Catholic church. He was happy to offer an answer.

So many times I look at something posted and think "that would should have been sent as a PM".

Much like a quiet aside at a family gathering, the PM feature allows us to talk about things that might not be right for a general discussion.

Just a thought.

Cheers

Jamie

[AnimalK]

Well said, O Pink One! I agree; the internet is rife with anonymity and the venom which can be spewed without consequence. I like Xmarks because it is family friendly. We can be silly, yet share in the little joys of others.