kilt or not to kilt?

[April]

My son is 11 years old and is graduating grammer school. He is so happy...but he wants to wear his kilt to the ceremony. Mind you we live in the southren part of the U.S. At first I was happy to see him embrace his Scottish heritage...but I am also confused. I dont think he understands
the mixed emotions that may arise. I would hate to sit in the audience and hear people chatter and gossip. I dont want to be like..."he doesnt know any better ..but you do." I feel like it could be a bad experience for him. If he pulls it off and is proud no matter what people say, then I will be proud. But would if he cries when we get home? Can anyone give me some good advise. There are so many ignorant people. I just dont want him to get hurt and never wear a kilt again.

[Tobus]

Wow, that's a tough one. If he's the independent sort who isn't easily swayed by peer pressure, I'd say go for it. If not, then you'll definitely want to make sure you talk to him at great length about it and make sure he really understands the potential consequences.

It may help if you "talk it up" with the other parents so they know in advance that he's going to wear a kilt so that it reduces the shock value at the ceremony. Plus, getting the word "kilt" out there with the other parents minimizes the chance that their ignorance could cause confusion over a boy wearing a "skirt".

[cavscout]

I understand the concern (Father of 4). I think the reaction will be quite positive if the outfit is put together well. Spend a bit of time browsing the pics in the sections here to get a feel for putting together a nice outfit.

Button down shirt
Tie
Waist coat (optional)
Belt
Sporran
Kilt Hose
Dress Shoes

This outfit will give a very nice appearance that is virtually unmistakably Scots and should be received very well.

I know it's a risk, but I say if he's confident enough in himself and his peers, this could be a great time for him and a great example to many.

[SteveB]

I grew up in rural Maine.

I have worn the kilt my whole life. If your son is comfortable wearing his kilt in public, this may not be a problem for him on Ceremony Day. I wore mine to elementary graduation, but that was five decades ago. He is also eleven and sorting out who is and wants to be. If he feels that he can reply to any bullies that may try to taunt him with words of education, then he is more than ready to wear the kilt anywhere he darned well pleases.

By words of education, I mean that he can calmly address any barbs thrown in his direction with historical or factual information about his chosen attire.

I also do not know if his school has a dress code, or if he has worn the kilt to school on a previous occasion, such as Saint Andrews Day, or Tartan Day. If he has worn it as a Halloween Costume only, then he needs to be prepared to explain its more normal role.

His relationship to his peers will also play a role as well. If he is regarded with honour, he will not get derided for his clothing choice, but rather respected for his individuality.

Most males in his age group are going through hormonal, growth, and identity stages. He needs to be able to handle those who are not educated in the kilt being a gents garment. At eleven my peers and I were trying to identify as being more men than boys. The misconception that the kilt is at all feminine was quickly shot down with the statement that the kilt was worn by REAL MEN long before the trouser was invented, and is worn by REAL MEN of Scot heritage today. He would be well advised to prepare for this if he has not already. ( I suspect he has). He should also be prepared for the admiration of most of the females in his peer group for having the ______ to be himself and not follow the crowd. Clothing himself in other than the local version of the current trend, will show all others that he has the strength to lead.

Sorry for the long ramble, but it is hard to organize the thoughts of so many decades ago.

Slainte,
Steve


P.S. Please let every one here know the results, we are all cheering for him.

[auld argonian]

Obviously you're not going to get too many people here that are going to tell you not to rock the boat and go with trousers...for most of us your son is our kinda guy. Truth be told, you probably will get some flack from somebody...I'm fifty-seven and I still get flack from people. Keeping calm and trying to disarm the situation with warmth and good humour usually works very well. For the life of me, I cannot understand how in this multi-cultural nation of ours there can still be people who freak out when they see a man in a kilt and I cannot understand how anybody could go out of their way to make negative comments to a grown man in a kilt let alone to a child...but I understand your concern.

Let him know that you are behind him 100% on this one. Maybe you could make a deal with his teacher to have him show up in his kilt and get up and tell the class the significance of Scottish dress and talk about his ancestors and the importance of Scots in the making of the USA. He could finish up with, "...and that's why I will proudly wear my kilt on graduation day!". As in so many things, the power of his sincerity should move his classmates and make this an easy one.

Best of luck...have him watch Mel's big speech in Braveheart before he goes out there...don't let him watch the end, though...I hear that ol' Mel doesn't come to a happy end in that one.

Honestly, I wish that my son (21 now) would just tolerate my wearing the kilt...he is such a square about it...so I envy you having a son who's on board with it.

Best

AA

[Standard]

I assume that your son has worn his kilt out and about town before, else he wouldn't be so keen to wear it to graduation. Have his buddies seen him kilted before, and if so what has been their reaction? If he has had positive experiences in the past while kilted then as Tobus said it might help to talk with some of your parent friends about his kilt and thereby stave off some of the adult comments. Please keep us posted on how this plays out. We're all rooting for him.

[auld argonian]

....and just a wee afterthought...

So many of these situations that where we hear about a student being denied his right to wear a kilt seem to be in the South? I sorta thought that the folks down there appreciated tradition and knew about their Scots and Scots Irish roots. Seems like is Northern Industrial Belt types don't have half the trouble...what gives?

Best

AA

[cavscout]

Ignorance and political correctness know no borders. MN, IN, MO, PA, TX ,GA are the states that came up in a quick google search for kilt/prom issues.

[fluter]

April: from the humid heart of South Carolina.

....and just a wee afterthought...

So many of these situations that where we hear about a student being denied his right to wear a kilt seem to be in the South? ...

AA, when I try to recall the prom situations, most seem to be in the Midwest. I can say that, as I've lived both places & love them both. Let's just say that it'd be ironic both ways, since both regions were heavily settled and influenced by the Scots-Irish.

Ignorance and political correctness know no borders

Word.

[jkane]

I think it all depends on your son! My older son ... no way! He couldn't handle it. I mean, he could, but he would simply not take the chance that his friends would tease him. The younger, he could care less what others think. Then again, I might talk him out of it (or talked since he's in high school now) because instead of just taking the insults, he would have taken a swing or two at the teaser! He has grown out of that now, and walks away instead of confronting kids he does not like.

Anyhow, you should wear your along with him and give him the support to do what he'd like to do. Explain that other kids will (not may, but make it clear they will) tease him so he is coached in how to ignore them and remain proud. Grade School is not a place to match wits. I know it is tempting, but our teachers take the use of verbal statements to be as bad as fighting. Better just saying nothing or tattling (which drives this Dad crazy!)

Good luck with what ever you decide is best for your son.