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  1. #1
    Join Date
    14th July 09
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    Arkansas
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    Farm Kid In Basic Training

    Dear Ma and Pa,
    I am well. Hope you are.
    Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Military beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled up.


    I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late.
    Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.


    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water and nice soap.
    Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
    We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
    The Sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot.
    The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.


    This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.
    I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.
    The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home... All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges they come in boxes.


    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.
    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.


    Your loving daughter,
    Alice

  2. #2
    Join Date
    22nd November 07
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    US
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    I tried to ask my inner curmudgeon before posting, but he sprayed me with the garden hose…
    Yes, I have squirrels in my brain…

  3. #3
    Join Date
    8th November 05
    Location
    Northglenn, Colorado, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bugbear View Post
    ***
    Greg Livingston
    Commissioner
    Clan MacLea (Livingstone)

  4. #4
    Mike_Oettle's Avatar
    Mike_Oettle is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
    Join Date
    9th June 10
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    Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape, South Africa
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    Especially after I saw who it was from!
    The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life.
    [Proverbs 14:27]

  5. #5
    Join Date
    9th October 10
    Location
    Outskirts of Chicago IL
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    I did not see that punchline coming!

    Brilliant!
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    8th April 09
    Location
    Chandler, Arizona USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike_Oettle View Post


    Especially after I saw who it was from!
    *** on that. Didn't see it coming.
    [I]When God created men, he made the intelligent ones kilted so women could tell just by looking.[/I]

  7. #7
    Join Date
    3rd July 09
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    Canada
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    The punchline has punch indeed.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    19th August 09
    Location
    Orlando, FL
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    And how right Alice was about the shooting in basic

  9. #9
    Join Date
    22nd December 10
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    I about fell out of me chair when I got to the bottom. Read it to my wife...Alice. This is great.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    3rd January 08
    Location
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    Funny before the punch line, but hilarious after.
    His Exalted Highness Duke Standard the Pertinacious of Chalmondley by St Peasoup
    Member Order of the Dandelion
    Per Electum - Non consanguinitam

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