Its seems my confidence is broken...Help?

**Celt_GravityRebel** · 10th May 11, 07:34 PM

I recently found myself in situations that took an emotional toll on my heart. Such as realizing i cant move on from a girl who broke up with me last august and also that anytime i try to stand up for what i believe in or for my friends, everyone makes it clear to me that i need to shut up because nobody cares (what they really say is a lot meaner, since they're all 14-15 years old). Not only did it hurt, but also disintegrated my confidence. Because of this, i now find myself uncomfortable in one of my favorite articles of clothing, the kilt. Can someone please tell me how i can get enough confidence back to at least wear the kilt without feeling.........vulnerable?

**madmacs** · 10th May 11, 07:43 PM

Take up a martial art... i'd recommend judo, but that's just because it more defensive... I think stl has some places that do kendo or an equivalent of it if you fancy sword fighting...

**chrisupyonder** · 10th May 11, 07:52 PM

Confidence comes with knowledge. Learn as much as you can about the kilt, its history and more importantly what it means to you. And have fun.

Chris.

**Dale Seago** · 10th May 11, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by madmacs

Take up a martial art... i'd recommend judo, but that's just because it more defensive... I think stl has some places that do kendo or an equivalent of it if you fancy sword fighting...

I agree. Few things help you realize at a visceral level that you really do want to move on and keep going like having someone sincerely trying to punch your lights out, split your skull with a sword, etc., and having your body not only deal with it but feel exhilarated afterward. There is a lot the body can teach the mind and emotions. . .

**Nick the DSM** · 10th May 11, 08:14 PM

As a senior in high school now, I can definetly tell you self confidence comes from how you make yourself. I joined this forum about the same age as you years ago and it took me awhile to build great self confidence. My dad always picked on me while my friends and family thought it was awesome. You'll have it when you can stand up for yourself and take pride in who YOU are. It helped that I was some punk teenager that rebelled at what some people thought of me, I still do.

Maturity is when you take all the experiences and what you learn from them, and how that makes you a better person, and not so much as how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I recently went through a break up myself (5 monthes ago), every one knows the pain and it only means that you're human. The kilt is a great way to make new friends, doesn't have to be a new love.

**xman** · 10th May 11, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by Dale Seago

There is a lot the body can teach the mind and emotions. . .

Sensei

**Nighthawk** · 11th May 11, 07:31 PM

Originally Posted by madmacs

Take up a martial art... i'd recommend judo, but that's just because it more defensive... I think stl has some places that do kendo or an equivalent of it if you fancy sword fighting...

I would second this. I personally prefer Shotokan karate and jujitsu. I just got back from class, as a matter of fact. Nothing makes you feel good like saying "You get your ***donkey*** kicked by a guy in a skirt?" and knowing that you can do it- in under 15 seconds.

I actually had a guy shove me once... I had him on the ground squeeling like a little girl. This was a coworker who had his own back yard fight club and thought he was a bad, bad man... until the guy in the skirt put him in his place.

**kc8ufv** · 11th May 11, 07:42 PM

I like the martial arts idea. I might caution against combiningTae Kwon Do with kilt wearing, though, due to significant exposure risk, as that martial art makes significant use of the lower body.

**tripleblessed** · 11th May 11, 07:57 PM

On the other hand, like the man said, never get into a fair fight if you can help it. If it starts to go down the wrong way, lower body move, "accidental" exposure, distraction, he's saying what happened? How'd I get on the ground? On my back? Could work in your favor.

Of course, the idea is you become so deadly you're not afraid, and they get the fact they don't want to be there.

**kc8ufv** · 11th May 11, 08:03 PM

The best moves, though, use your attacker's body against themself. Step out of the way of their suckerpunch, grab their wrist, and pull them off balance with their own momentum.