Statements of new kilt makers "Everybody likes my kilt but I know where I made mistakes; my NEXT kilt will be perfect"


Hmmmmm,
very telling that last bit.

Definite signs of KMM (Kilt making Mania), the OCD (the obsessive compulsive disorder) characteristics are obvious. The disorder which is not widespread seems to have an occasional nidus of involvement such as XMS.

Briefly, KMM is the compulsion to plan, make and criticize kilts. It appears to be an addictive phenomenon, no doubt due to cutaneous absorption of the active agent through handling of the addictive substance (worsted wool, why even the name is ominous, why not BESTED wool). I anticipate that control of KMM will be difficult to stamp out however; we medical types are aware that this stuff actually grows NATURALLY on some domesticated animals. Not only that but in an attempt no doubt to foil detection the material is dyed a variety of colors and woven in sinister straight lines w hich I take to allow for more easy assimilation of the active substance (I will tenatively call tricotroposin, "attracted to hair)." Even more ominously, the full blown KMM is associated with needle use raising the spectre of spread due to the sharing of needles.

This poor man has a grim course ahead of him unless he may summon the depth , of character to break free from his new addiction.

So sad,

The clinical characteristics: the side-long glances, the whispered conversation (protecting a supplier, sometimes called a "weaver"), frequent: "drug -seeking behavior," mysterious packages from off-shore with names like "Marto-Jura," "Strome" etc (I believe they represent the potency of this wool-drug), needle marks,spare threads on his clothes, sleepless-ness and red-eyes are a give-away to the observant. It leads to the blank stare, myopia and muttering of some sort of secret mantra like ("5/8 or 11/16; 5/8 or 11/16!")

I suggest a withdrawal program (doing only 13 oz boy kilts in progressively larger setts and smaller boys) until one happy day he is able to slowly back away from the needle to which he will have been for so long enslaved.