A story of Kilted Attention or: Why I can't go commando!

[Four]

I've never, however, had a girl as bold as the the one in OP who planted a kiss. I'm pretty sure my black belt girlfriend would flatten such a girl forthwith.

It was a near thing....

[ForresterModern]

I would have a tendency, I'm afraid, to reply "Mpre than you can handle, lass!" Which would get me in serious trouble with Michele.

Considering that she was at least twenty years my senior (and I am 53) I let her off with a return wink and left it to her imagination.

[serenitylala]

You know what is sad, just last year my mom asked a bagpiper what was under his kilt.

The worst part was that he winked at her and asked her if she'd like to find out.

All this while I, a grown woman and her daughter was standing there thinking to myself... oh please Lord burn this image from my memory.

[tundramanq]

The reason I love seniors, they have been there, done that and are unafraid of image. They KNOW how to treasure every moment. And how to mortify the junoirs. Truly a blast to be around! Never laughed so hard as with them.

[werewolves]

I've never, however, had a girl as bold as the the one in OP who planted a kiss.

Alright, since we're all sharing: my "best" drunk girl story was on St. Patrick's day a few years ago. A pretty young lady had taken pains to tell me a few times that night how handsome I looked in my kilt and ask "the question" (despite the fact that I was there with my wife and two female friends). I was separated from them, up at the bar. She asked if she could kiss me on the cheek. I told her I would be OK with that. She proceeded to lean in, lick my cheek, and reached up to check my, um, bagpipes, for herself. I just threw up my hands and walked away.

[Frank McGrath]

I wish that was my problem. One out of three ain't bad I guess.

I got kilt checked at a large public gathering when I walked past a group of smart-alec inebriated twenty-somethings who were sitting on a low rock wall, and one woman reached out and lifted as I passed to get a good look. After slapping down her hand (artfully not spilling my own drink) I turn and scowled and told her that was sexual harrassment/assault, and asked her and her friends how it would be taken if I lifted the skirt of one of their women for a look. Just by coincidence a police officer on crowd control a few feet away witnessed the whole thing, and came to my "rescue" and ended up giving the whole group, and the kilt-checker in particular, a stern lecture about how if I wanted to press charges he would arrest her for sexual assault, which if convicted (highly likely since the cop witnessed the whole thing) would have put her on a sexual offenders public registry for the rest of her life. He held me there until he was finished talking to her/them, then frankly asked me whether I wanted to, no actually urged me to, file formal charges. After taking a moment I said no, and the poor girl apologized in front of her whole friend group before the cop and I walked away together. Once away he told me he had hoped I would have said yes just to teach them a lesson, as he was pretty sure the charge would have been dealt down by any prosecuting attorney to something non-sexual in nature as it was likely a first offense. Then he actually complimented me on the way I had handled the incident (I initially was ready to throw my drink in her face but held off), followed by another compliment on the kilted outfit and said he wished he had the guts to wear one himself. I wrote the Xmarks website on the back of my business card and gave it to him as a way to start looking into kilt wearing. Don't know if he ever looked or joined or got kilted, but if some Louisville officer out there recognizes this story speak up.

Kilt checks are generally considered cute and benign and playful by those who perform them, and often flattering to those who recieve them, but if they are an unwanted advance and violation of one's personal privacy they should be considered for what they are--sexual assault/harrassment. It is one thing to ask, another entirely to uninvited invade one's person.

I think next time, if I do have a drink in my hand, I will try to remember to dump it in the face of the offender, just for good measure. My response will be "Oooh, you startled me so much I spilled my drink. Wear it in health."

Why waste good alcohol on Morons. I wear a Retired police officers badge as a kilt pin and stop and ask people (women) "Would you really like to spend the weekend in Jail. If I scream loud enough, I'm sure there is a cop close." Then I ask what they would do if I asked what they were wearing under their skirt. Few have apologized and some have shown me anyway.

[Thorina]

Um, so....pages later....what you fellas are saying is...it's bad to peek?

Metal note taken.

I know there are certain gatherings I'd go to and expect some kilt lifting.
Anywhere large amounts of alcohol are being consumed being a given, I'd think.

Admittedly, I am a big fan of the glute check....pants or kilted once I've had more than my share of adult beverages.

Sorry in advance.

[Four]

Um, so....pages later....what you fellas are saying is...it's bad to peek?

Metal note taken.

I know there are certain gatherings I'd go to and expect some kilt lifting.
Anywhere large amounts of alcohol are being consumed being a given, I'd think.

Admittedly, I am a big fan of the glute check....pants or kilted once I've had more than my share of adult beverages.

Sorry in advance.

Depends on what exactly is a 'glance' or a 'check'

these terms can vary wildly in reality

[Thorina]

Depends on what exactly is a 'glance' or a 'check'

these terms can vary wildly in reality

A peek. Harmless, no intention of "leading" anywhere....justa peek. Well, hey there little fella..or a friendly glute check....little squeeze or pat.
A front peek enough to make me blush, but not enough to be able to pick out a specific set of twig and berries in a police line up.
Certain places and certain people, I'd be prone to do it stone cold sobor.
Get a few pints in me.....middle aged or older and well fed men in kilts.....oh, boy....I'd be hard pressed to behave myself. I likes to pinch me some older chubby dude glutes. They're so cute. Yep.

Buncha pints?
Yeah, um.....just sorry in advance.

I'm not prone to do a front kilt lift, though, even with way too many pints in me.
Oh, but you betcha I'd be asking. Ya gotta ask for a front lift, IMO.
Ya know....manners and such.

[Four]

A peek. Harmless, no intention of "leading" anywhere....justa peek. Well, hey there little fella..or a friendly glute check....little squeeze or pat.
A front peek enough to make me blush, but not enough to be able to pick out a specific set of twig and berries in a police line up.
Certain places and certain people, I'd be prone to do it stone cold sobor.
Get a few pints in me.....middle aged or older and well fed men in kilts.....oh, boy....I'd be hard pressed to behave myself. I likes to pinch me some older chubby dude glutes. They're so cute. Yep.

Buncha pints?
Yeah, um.....just sorry in advance.

I'm not prone to do a front kilt lift, though, even with way too many pints in me.
Oh, but you betcha I'd be asking. Ya gotta ask for a front lift, IMO.
Ya know....manners and such.