Kilt Making Mania - Description of a new Disease

[WClarkB]

Statements of new kilt makers "Everybody likes my kilt but I know where I made mistakes; my NEXT kilt will be perfect"


Hmmmmm,
very telling that last bit.

Definite signs of KMM (Kilt making Mania), the OCD (the obsessive compulsive disorder) characteristics are obvious. The disorder which is not widespread seems to have an occasional nidus of involvement such as XMS.

Briefly, KMM is the compulsion to plan, make and criticize kilts. It appears to be an addictive phenomenon, no doubt due to cutaneous absorption of the active agent through handling of the addictive substance (worsted wool, why even the name is ominous, why not BESTED wool). I anticipate that control of KMM will be difficult to stamp out however; we medical types are aware that this stuff actually grows NATURALLY on some domesticated animals. Not only that but in an attempt no doubt to foil detection the material is dyed a variety of colors and woven in sinister straight lines w hich I take to allow for more easy assimilation of the active substance (I will tenatively call tricotroposin, "attracted to hair)." Even more ominously, the full blown KMM is associated with needle use raising the spectre of spread due to the sharing of needles.

This poor man has a grim course ahead of him unless he may summon the depth , of character to break free from his new addiction.

So sad,

The clinical characteristics: the side-long glances, the whispered conversation (protecting a supplier, sometimes called a "weaver"), frequent: "drug -seeking behavior," mysterious packages from off-shore with names like "Marto-Jura," "Strome" etc (I believe they represent the potency of this wool-drug), needle marks,spare threads on his clothes, sleepless-ness and red-eyes are a give-away to the observant. It leads to the blank stare, myopia and muttering of some sort of secret mantra like ("5/8 or 11/16; 5/8 or 11/16!")

I suggest a withdrawal program (doing only 13 oz boy kilts in progressively larger setts and smaller boys) until one happy day he is able to slowly back away from the needle to which he will have been for so long enslaved.

[vipermcgee]

So, do I count people I actually know, x-markers, or both? These considerations radically effect my answer.

Robert

[sydnie7]

I will graciously assume that "this poor man" is offered in the generic sense. . .

[Smayniac]

I fear the San Francisco Bay Area is a hotbed of KMM affliction. Perhaps a carrier, a Kiltmaking Mary, is in the area infecting us all. One locall victim claims to be kicking the habit after just one more, we'll see when it comes to pass.
Bob

[WeaselMender]

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

"Hey who are those people in white........and why are they not wearing kilts?"

"Quit poking me with those pointy things I am trying to sew here!"

"Oh wow, if you turn this tartan sideways the colours change"

"The colours, the colours............ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"






Mr Mender is taking a nap and cannot be bothered , please leave now and take all that tartan with you!

[WClarkB]

I will graciously assume that "this poor man" is offered in the generic sense. . .

I am not telling; have to maintain my professional ethics of course, doncha kno

[WClarkB]

So, do I count people I actually know, x-markers, or both? These considerations radically effect my answer.

Robert

Hmm for epidemiologic reason, please limit it to people within thread distance of you

[Lachlan09]

Does anyone on the site make their own trousers (pants) ?

[WeaselMender]

Does anyone on the site make their own trousers (pants) ?

BITE YOUR TOUNGE hard

[ForresterModern]

From a doctor's point of view manics are usually folks who sleep little or not at all, get tremendous amounts of work accomplished yet never feel tired, love doing favors for folks, and generally manage money poorly.

If you count yourself as a kilt-making-manic please contact me as soon as possible to discuss having you make a few kilts for me at ridiculously low prices becasue, hey, I really want to be your friend. PM me for the list of tartans I am interested in and with your ridiculously low charge for doing so, as well as your expected turnaround (I am thinking a couple weeks maybe. ;)