Humorous comebacks and snappy retorts here please

**Woodsman** · 9th May 11, 04:03 AM

Originally Posted by AKScott

I am bookmarking threads that n00bs really ought to avail themselves too, and this one is missing.

EG3:

Good girls don't ask and bad girls find out for themselves.

I really like this one. But I was wondering what the response is by the inquisitive female. Sounds like an open invitation.

**davedove** · 9th May 11, 04:47 AM

One that worked for me:

"Where are your bagpipes?"

"Under the kilt."

**Slowburn** · 10th May 11, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by Woodsman

I really like this one. But I was wondering what the response is by the inquisitive female. Sounds like an open invitation.

I used this the first night out in the kilt and was taken up on my offer, by a lady I had never met.

**Bill aka Mole** · 10th May 11, 10:25 PM

Q: Do you play the pipes?
A: Nope. I like my neighbors too much.

Q: Are you wearing your kilt like a true Scotsman?
A: Sure am! I wrap it around the waist and the pleats stay in the back.

Q: What do you wear under your kilt?
A1: Hose, shoes and talc.
A2: On a good day, perfume. On a great day, lipstick!
A3: I could show you but you'd just laugh.

Q: Why are you wearing a kilt today?
A1: I was told I'd be arrested if I didn't.
A2: Because some one has to show some leg today. (To a snooty lady cheerleading coach wearing sweats at our local coffee shop)
A3: Too many guys are wearing shorts.
A4: I like to challenge the pick pockets.